trying, letting go, breaking free

it's time to let go.

i saw Frank's photo with Jing Lang, for an instant i feel so uncomfortable, sometime being too care for your best friend you even finds hard to share him with somebody else, not friend, but best friend, sharing with his another best friend who in my mind, he doesn't really treats him like how a best friend did.

i didn't say i am doing good all the time, but i think i am better than him? i can assure you, yeah i did. even before he leave to Perak, i already made up my mind to pay him a visit before my degree starts, but i doubt it now, should i go, or just leave him alone with his 'best friend'?

i start to understand, something call destiny, something call faith, which you not necessary to pay so much efforts but the outcome would naturally be so outstanding. how hard i try there maybe would never gives an amazing result, i should have realize, it's time to let go, let him go out to try things out, let him to face the problems alone, let him to handle all kind of obstacles, and it's time to leave yourself some space in your heart to accept other people, they are out there somewhere waiting me to look for them.

he owned a heart, a bestie's heart, and that i would never be. that long journey was so tiring, my determination seems fading, the road is so grayish which i barely see it. the rain starts pouring from the dark sky, to awake me, distracts my dream and somehow woke me up.

you belong a life you wanted, you deserve it, i should let go. i should look for my life, somewhere, i owned a place to at least squeezed me in. i hope i can live a solitary life, don't need any commitments, family, and friends, maybe. i can live on my own soon, when i broke free from the wall of 25th.

i just need a little courages to bring myself up, pack few clothes and leave. anyone in my life willing to lost the mind with me, so far, no one perhaps.

we would enjoy our last dinner before you leave to Perak, won't you? and i guess that would be the last thing i ever do for you, all the best my friend.