2022 Wrap

It's the end of 2022, I'm gonna write a wrap-up for what's happened this whole year.

I went to-and-fro Penang many times, wasn't able to let go of Penang, or to be more honest, wasn't able to let go of the past. I was offered by a working colleague to work together to open up a chiro-physio centre, initially at KL, then somehow decided to try establishing it in Penang, which I later on rejected. We weren't talking much since then. Let's just say things didn't end well. It was me that called off the plan because, I just moved back, starting to accommodate to KL lifestyle and now moving back to Penang again? What am I doing, i asked myself. I even asked God what was he thinking? I'm confused. But then i rejected the offer mainly because it's just too complicated to move back again, and to be working with people that I wasn't really understand and comfortable with. Let's just try to work it out on my own. At my own comfort and pace.

I got a promotion. I am now the head of department of the centre I'm working in. Am I happy there? No really. I'm just happy with the money given to me. But I'm not happy. I don't think my boss is happy with me either, it's just that they need me. Probably gonna get rid of me when they got a better replacement. I'm trying to find a way out, it's my priority right now, and the most headache task I have right now. 

My best friend got married. I'm very happy for her. I can feel it and I can see it from her eyes. I hope the best for her, wholeheartedly. It was really tough when I first moved back to KL. She were there to help me through, supported me, and I am so grateful for that. I wish she gets what she wished for, and will stand by her whenever she needs me, just like when I needed her the most. She's always there, and I will not hesitate to do the same for her. 

I bought a new car. A car that truly belongs to me. It's the second biggest thing beside the house I bought years ago. And many little changes and upgrades I brought into my life. When I'm looking back now, did I do well this year? I think I'm pretty satisfied with it. I asked my mom and dad what do they wish for next year and my mom said I wished whatever I wishing for comes true...

I hope I will have an idea how to progress my career next year. To be braver to accept tough challenges, and to make difficult decisions. That's all I'm hoping for in 2023.

Reflection after catching Covid-19.

 It's been awhile. I got covid a week ago. Caught it from colleague when we were having lunch together. She reported herself as positive on the next day and so I naturally went into quarantine. I was fine on the first day and symptoms started surfacing on the second day onwards. Pretty nasty. Sore throat. Fever. Coughing. Heaviness in the head. Sleepless nights. You name it. Especially the sore throat. It felt like ripping pain every time I try to swallow. Very much unlike the previous sore throat. It's just too painful. But, well, I survived. Still coughing and occasionally feel that I need extra energy to pull a deeper breath, but I'm alive. 

Work's as usual. Pretty boring. Still looking for opportunity. One of the mornings couple weeks ago, I was randomly talking to my mother that I feel so dreadful to go to work lately. Or should I say ever since I started working in this new company. It's not that they're not good to me, it's just... a boring place. Peaceful, no challenges, it's just a routine day work without any learning input. "Mom, I have never felt dreadful to go to work the whole time when I worked in the hospital and that makes me very proud of myself. So many people dreading themselves to work and I wasn't. I look forward to the next day. For as long as I worked in Adventist Hospital. I enjoy working with the teams. The docs. Nurses. HR. Radio. Pharma etc. and now I feel so dead." My mom nodded and replied 'I think you enjoy working in a big family more." 

I've been pondering what she said and I came to agree with her statement. That's the answer I failed to give myself. Life is all about choices, right? I chose a company that pays better but it failed to provide me the satisfaction I need. But, it's just ridiculously low the offer I got from the hospitals. How ironic that it comes from a high-stress environment that almost can't tolerate mistake. And people told me that I should be happy for working less for more but, maybe, this is not what I wanted after all.

 

Covid got me thinking... you have 1 life, and limited time here, and your live can be claimed just any time. What do you want to make out of this little time here? Life is about choices. Own up to the consequences of the decision you made and live with it. 

Worry less. You will be alright.