look, i seriously never thought that '3 Idiots' can be such inspiring. Today on TV2 '3 Idiots' was airing, and that was the movie my sister called me to watch 2 years ago, and i keep delaying it until today, one word to describe that movie- 'WOW'!
that was so inspiring, the true genius is a person who graduated from the course pursued able to use the knowledges to create something new and contribute it to the society. and that movie thought me one important lesson:
'the most important thing while you're studying is to fully understand your will and thoughts and most important, your interest. one with no interest basically wasting your life, and one day in your future you'll got frightened up from nightmare deep in night, the decision you've made years ago literally drove you mad and leads you no turning back, ever since then you'll live in regrets for not fulfilling your dream.'
yes, the most important thing is not to wake up in regrets every morning when the sunlight hits the ground, break the dawn. what keeps you moving forward is your dream and your will, the thing you want to do to delight yourself everyday. that could be very individual, but the thing is to do something you wish to do. what so important if the course you pursued isn't going to make big money, i know that could be a problem, but you have to understand that money somehow can't buy your dream and happiness, and get rid of your regrets. there are always something money couldn't solve.
don't blame yourself for not getting a very good result. at the first place you should have ask yourself why are you even here in the course you literally dislike, wasting your time and life doing something you hate? that's of course you can't do well because your interest isn't there, doesn't it make sense? and sometime in an exam, or after exams, the time when results releasing, your broke down because of the results which made you half dead. and actually now i understand why i couldn't get a better result.
it's fear. the fear when you start studying primary school, the fear you couldn't catch up the syllabus, the fear you couldn't achieve high grades, the fear you see your friends getting good result but you're not, the fear you are doing real hard but still unable to chase your friend's back, the fear lecturer neglecting and insulting you in front of the hall full with students throwing their eyes toward, and the fear you couldn't face your parents, your relatives, the society, their eyes. the eventually, the fear you couldn't handle your fear, and the very last thing, you committed suicide.
that is for most of the students studying in university. they couldn't handle the pressure well, the pressure suppressed by their lecturers, and the pressure given by their parents, looking at them with hope achieving success, and couldn't take their disappointment and rather choose to end their life, saying that 'i quit'.
the most pathetic thing ever in your life is you couldn't find your interest, i mean your interest in your ambition. there should be a reason why are you working as this and that. don't tell me some bullshits like 'it gives good income', that's not goona make your life content, trust me.
and I'm so grateful i found mine. to work as a person who able to help others on their health, to work in the hospital, to work in an social-able environment, and to work as a little mobilize. and that all are my things should be found in my ambition.
I'm not good enough to be a doctor, both in intelligence and determination and fees as well, so a physiotherapist will do, and i swear i will do my best. when you found your interest, you found your ambition. when you found your ambition, you found your dream. and when you found your dream, that's the source of power keep you going never quit.
and this power in my body will never die.
p/s: when you achieve your dream, you'll see is the success chasing after you, not you chasing after it.
p/s: and maybe it costs some time for finding friends worth you sacrificing so much for them, like the 3 of them in the movie. i hope i will found them too soon in my life, and that my wish.
dignity and achievement
on Wednesday, May 30, 2012
feel like writing something today.
yesterday, someone who i hate most of the time appeared to be in my house in the afternoon. i just don't know why, just, GOD after you've done so much of brainless things and now what are you trying to say? figuratively broke into people's house without peeping on the owner, making yourself way too comfortable as your own house, damn it fucker i bet 100% that you don't even know the most basic manners coming into people's house! you're a God damn person! and yes, both of you, a bastard and a bitch!
calm down, he don't worth your anger. they worth nothing like a piece of shit.
i hate myself unable to do anything for my family. remember, when you graduate your degree, do your best in your career, show them that my parent made no wrong decision sending me to University.
See, education is important to teach those uncivilised human like them, no doubt. Which until the 21st century they still thought that education is nothing, I'll prove that you're totally wrong, FOR GOD'S SAKE!
and today, so bored in the office, literally has nothing to do in the office. but today we did celebrate Ms Low's birthday. and our lunch was steamboat, that was so filling :D
any Ms Lee prepared Ms Low a present, which made all of us popped out our eyes. Prada, it's PRADA!! from Andrea we get to know that the present was roughly 7k plus, OMFG! 7k!! i would need to work like 5 months to get 7k!! see, how pathetic life could be, that's obvious now to show yourself that education is important, become a useful person is important, become a professional is important.
i promised myself, in my future PRADA would just be like a piece of cake for me, I SWEAR I'LL DO MY BEST TO ACHIEVE SUCCESS, I VOWED!
there's no short cut, but hard work, and i can do it!
yesterday, someone who i hate most of the time appeared to be in my house in the afternoon. i just don't know why, just, GOD after you've done so much of brainless things and now what are you trying to say? figuratively broke into people's house without peeping on the owner, making yourself way too comfortable as your own house, damn it fucker i bet 100% that you don't even know the most basic manners coming into people's house! you're a God damn person! and yes, both of you, a bastard and a bitch!
calm down, he don't worth your anger. they worth nothing like a piece of shit.
i hate myself unable to do anything for my family. remember, when you graduate your degree, do your best in your career, show them that my parent made no wrong decision sending me to University.
See, education is important to teach those uncivilised human like them, no doubt. Which until the 21st century they still thought that education is nothing, I'll prove that you're totally wrong, FOR GOD'S SAKE!
and today, so bored in the office, literally has nothing to do in the office. but today we did celebrate Ms Low's birthday. and our lunch was steamboat, that was so filling :D
any Ms Lee prepared Ms Low a present, which made all of us popped out our eyes. Prada, it's PRADA!! from Andrea we get to know that the present was roughly 7k plus, OMFG! 7k!! i would need to work like 5 months to get 7k!! see, how pathetic life could be, that's obvious now to show yourself that education is important, become a useful person is important, become a professional is important.
i promised myself, in my future PRADA would just be like a piece of cake for me, I SWEAR I'LL DO MY BEST TO ACHIEVE SUCCESS, I VOWED!
there's no short cut, but hard work, and i can do it!
insanely 'wise' government
on Saturday, May 26, 2012
so he finally left today, just few hours ago. i'm kind of glad cuz' i've a friend who actually will make me miss him some time in late night, all the best buddy. i guess i lack of one shopping 'kaki' haha!
i just heard of a news just now, saying that Malaysia might allow the establishment of some sort of factory which had been banned by Taiwan's government upon the protest of their people, especially those environmental parties.
guess what, after Lynas incident, i think Malaysia will allow this bloody factory to set up here. if the damn it government really does, even i'm not 21 year-old, but i really reach the threshold, i'm pretty sure where my vote goes to.
GOD DAMN IT, DO THEY LOSS THEIR MIND?!
night before he leaves
tonight is the last night he stays here, i mean not literally the last night, just the night before he leaves to Kampar to further his study on logistic.
so i planned a simple dinner with him before he leaves. i bought 2 coupons earlier to dine in with him at The Start Village at Kepong, and that restaurant was quite comfortable, not so crowded with people, and the most important thing was the food, and they didn't disappoint us, great job.
the drink was ordinary, just ice lemon tea. but the steak we ordered was kind of amazing. his one was Honey Chicken Chop while mine was Cheesy Chicken Chop, and it tasted real good. only if it's not at Kepong, or i'm pretty sure i'll visit it again :D but it's too far away.
i realize one thing. i don't feel too bad any longer. even when he told me the day he spent with his best friend, i don't feel anything too weird, and i finally understand that everyone has a right to choose good for themselves. even though he is close to him but he treats me kind of nice too. just we can't expect much, asking for too much.
it's just hard to explain. all the moments, every minute every hours i spent with him just now was sort of a precious moment. for a certain extend, we enjoy the silence surrounded us, bizarrely peaceful. i don't know how about him, but i totally enjoy the time we were there in Start Village.
i don't know, feel like a surge of happiness cascading slowly into my heart, then my brain. and just an hour ago my brain sent a message to me saying that:
'you will visit him before your degree starts, pretty sure, you would.'
so i planned a simple dinner with him before he leaves. i bought 2 coupons earlier to dine in with him at The Start Village at Kepong, and that restaurant was quite comfortable, not so crowded with people, and the most important thing was the food, and they didn't disappoint us, great job.
the drink was ordinary, just ice lemon tea. but the steak we ordered was kind of amazing. his one was Honey Chicken Chop while mine was Cheesy Chicken Chop, and it tasted real good. only if it's not at Kepong, or i'm pretty sure i'll visit it again :D but it's too far away.
i realize one thing. i don't feel too bad any longer. even when he told me the day he spent with his best friend, i don't feel anything too weird, and i finally understand that everyone has a right to choose good for themselves. even though he is close to him but he treats me kind of nice too. just we can't expect much, asking for too much.
it's just hard to explain. all the moments, every minute every hours i spent with him just now was sort of a precious moment. for a certain extend, we enjoy the silence surrounded us, bizarrely peaceful. i don't know how about him, but i totally enjoy the time we were there in Start Village.
i don't know, feel like a surge of happiness cascading slowly into my heart, then my brain. and just an hour ago my brain sent a message to me saying that:
'you will visit him before your degree starts, pretty sure, you would.'
She and He
on Thursday, May 24, 2012
for your information, our house was short of water supply for 2 days, and a hill-stacked-high of dirty clothes were accumulated in the basket. and finally today we went to grand ma's house to wash our body and clothes at the same time.
i headed to grand ma's house once i finish my work, after picking up my mom's call.
i stayed a little longer than my parents and sister cuz' they have to take my sister to tuition centre. and so, i watch drama with my grand ma and aunt for like 2 hours, taking diner too, enjoying a little time of mine to comfort myself. i always find myself being so comfortable and relax while i'm at my grand ma's house, a place where part of my life i was growing up.
grand ma watching so intently on the drama, and i watched her for 10 seconds, looking at her, she gets really old, and a slight heart-tearing i feeling within myself. i start thinking, looking at her reminded me of grand pa who already passed away. for all the hard moments she had been through, how actually she endures the pain?
the time she used to quarrel with him, the time she used to dine with him, the time she used to shop with him, the time she always spend with him, all had vanished once he passed away. every morning he will ask her to get breakfast together, now the voice was vibrating no more in the air; every evening she's cooks dinner for him, now no more the actual purpose she cracking her head to cook something good for him; every night she waited him back from outside to sleep together, side by side, and now the man sleeping on the mattress beside her was now no more there. even the mattress was already got rid by her, left nothing, just a cold, empty place where figured nothing could be placed, other than memories.
i started thinking how she sleeps through all the nights without his accompany? did she ever haunted by nightmare? the stillness of air is floating causing the ambiance covered with silence, every moment in the house, did she ever sheds a tear late in night?
all the questions popped out one by one, until a time i brought her up to her room to have a private moment between she and me. she told me about her stories when she was young, and his's too. and she told me too that some of the nights she couldn't sleep, and she crawls up from her bed and walks to the cupboard, pulling out the drawer and taking the jewellery she kept when she was young, somehow making her reminds of him.
she looks tired, and she misses him so much. that moment my heart was sore, sore looking at her getting through all these hard times; sore because my intelligence was so limited to cheer her up; sore because i didn't own a sufficient patience during his funeral.
i can still vaguely remembered the day we sending him away from his house for cremation, she was crying, crying so hard which that time i think she needs no to be like that. but now i know i was wrong, it should be such heart-breaking. for no more in her life could find the person she loved so though-roughly, in few more hours will be completely gone, left only ashes to be remembered.
i love you grand ma. for all the works you had done for me, guiding me teaching me loving me all this while, i can never find anything to thank you as return. half of my life has been spent with you, the bond is like the bond in diamond and sand, never be broken. i love you, and i really do.
i feel both sorry and sad, i don't know what else should i say.
i just don't know how true love working out, up to a point which somehow very suicidal.
i headed to grand ma's house once i finish my work, after picking up my mom's call.
i stayed a little longer than my parents and sister cuz' they have to take my sister to tuition centre. and so, i watch drama with my grand ma and aunt for like 2 hours, taking diner too, enjoying a little time of mine to comfort myself. i always find myself being so comfortable and relax while i'm at my grand ma's house, a place where part of my life i was growing up.
grand ma watching so intently on the drama, and i watched her for 10 seconds, looking at her, she gets really old, and a slight heart-tearing i feeling within myself. i start thinking, looking at her reminded me of grand pa who already passed away. for all the hard moments she had been through, how actually she endures the pain?
the time she used to quarrel with him, the time she used to dine with him, the time she used to shop with him, the time she always spend with him, all had vanished once he passed away. every morning he will ask her to get breakfast together, now the voice was vibrating no more in the air; every evening she's cooks dinner for him, now no more the actual purpose she cracking her head to cook something good for him; every night she waited him back from outside to sleep together, side by side, and now the man sleeping on the mattress beside her was now no more there. even the mattress was already got rid by her, left nothing, just a cold, empty place where figured nothing could be placed, other than memories.
i started thinking how she sleeps through all the nights without his accompany? did she ever haunted by nightmare? the stillness of air is floating causing the ambiance covered with silence, every moment in the house, did she ever sheds a tear late in night?
all the questions popped out one by one, until a time i brought her up to her room to have a private moment between she and me. she told me about her stories when she was young, and his's too. and she told me too that some of the nights she couldn't sleep, and she crawls up from her bed and walks to the cupboard, pulling out the drawer and taking the jewellery she kept when she was young, somehow making her reminds of him.
she looks tired, and she misses him so much. that moment my heart was sore, sore looking at her getting through all these hard times; sore because my intelligence was so limited to cheer her up; sore because i didn't own a sufficient patience during his funeral.
i can still vaguely remembered the day we sending him away from his house for cremation, she was crying, crying so hard which that time i think she needs no to be like that. but now i know i was wrong, it should be such heart-breaking. for no more in her life could find the person she loved so though-roughly, in few more hours will be completely gone, left only ashes to be remembered.
i love you grand ma. for all the works you had done for me, guiding me teaching me loving me all this while, i can never find anything to thank you as return. half of my life has been spent with you, the bond is like the bond in diamond and sand, never be broken. i love you, and i really do.
i feel both sorry and sad, i don't know what else should i say.
i just don't know how true love working out, up to a point which somehow very suicidal.
miserably funny
on Monday, May 21, 2012
sometime life is funny, funny to a point you have no idea why are you laughing, or why are you tearing. why are those tragedies happen so hell often in my life, in our life?
before i left to water sport with my friends i called my mother. from her i get to know that our new house's wires were all cut by thieves. i don't understand how could they do such thing which hurt people so much? for all the wires they'd cut not really sell for much, probably less that 50 bucks, but you left us SHITS to clean up.
my parents look very down, for a certain extend i thought they are just discharged from hospital. they look pale, speechless, weariness was so obvious painted on their face. they've no idea what to do next, the half-ruined house gives so many problems, and they already half given-up filling this damn hole.
since the beginning, this house has tan of problems. problem with they vendor, the tenant which actually has nothing to do with us, the lawyers, the renovators, and now, the thieves. i don't know what else to say, i can't think of any solace to comfort my dad, he looks so sad, i mad at myself why couldn't i do something?
if we're mentally not strong enough, we might even think that 'is this a curse, what will happens if we move in?' this is when people unable to get out of the confusion, get out of the maze, solve the puzzle.
and today's activity with friends, apparently i don't really enjoying it. i didn't join them for any water sport games, i don't have such mood to do such things, my family thinggie already suffocating me, i just need silence, and breeze to carry my depressions away.
trying, letting go, breaking free
on Saturday, May 19, 2012
it's time to let go.
i saw Frank's photo with Jing Lang, for an instant i feel so uncomfortable, sometime being too care for your best friend you even finds hard to share him with somebody else, not friend, but best friend, sharing with his another best friend who in my mind, he doesn't really treats him like how a best friend did.
i didn't say i am doing good all the time, but i think i am better than him? i can assure you, yeah i did. even before he leave to Perak, i already made up my mind to pay him a visit before my degree starts, but i doubt it now, should i go, or just leave him alone with his 'best friend'?
i start to understand, something call destiny, something call faith, which you not necessary to pay so much efforts but the outcome would naturally be so outstanding. how hard i try there maybe would never gives an amazing result, i should have realize, it's time to let go, let him go out to try things out, let him to face the problems alone, let him to handle all kind of obstacles, and it's time to leave yourself some space in your heart to accept other people, they are out there somewhere waiting me to look for them.
he owned a heart, a bestie's heart, and that i would never be. that long journey was so tiring, my determination seems fading, the road is so grayish which i barely see it. the rain starts pouring from the dark sky, to awake me, distracts my dream and somehow woke me up.
you belong a life you wanted, you deserve it, i should let go. i should look for my life, somewhere, i owned a place to at least squeezed me in. i hope i can live a solitary life, don't need any commitments, family, and friends, maybe. i can live on my own soon, when i broke free from the wall of 25th.
i just need a little courages to bring myself up, pack few clothes and leave. anyone in my life willing to lost the mind with me, so far, no one perhaps.
we would enjoy our last dinner before you leave to Perak, won't you? and i guess that would be the last thing i ever do for you, all the best my friend.
i saw Frank's photo with Jing Lang, for an instant i feel so uncomfortable, sometime being too care for your best friend you even finds hard to share him with somebody else, not friend, but best friend, sharing with his another best friend who in my mind, he doesn't really treats him like how a best friend did.
i didn't say i am doing good all the time, but i think i am better than him? i can assure you, yeah i did. even before he leave to Perak, i already made up my mind to pay him a visit before my degree starts, but i doubt it now, should i go, or just leave him alone with his 'best friend'?
i start to understand, something call destiny, something call faith, which you not necessary to pay so much efforts but the outcome would naturally be so outstanding. how hard i try there maybe would never gives an amazing result, i should have realize, it's time to let go, let him go out to try things out, let him to face the problems alone, let him to handle all kind of obstacles, and it's time to leave yourself some space in your heart to accept other people, they are out there somewhere waiting me to look for them.
he owned a heart, a bestie's heart, and that i would never be. that long journey was so tiring, my determination seems fading, the road is so grayish which i barely see it. the rain starts pouring from the dark sky, to awake me, distracts my dream and somehow woke me up.
you belong a life you wanted, you deserve it, i should let go. i should look for my life, somewhere, i owned a place to at least squeezed me in. i hope i can live a solitary life, don't need any commitments, family, and friends, maybe. i can live on my own soon, when i broke free from the wall of 25th.
i just need a little courages to bring myself up, pack few clothes and leave. anyone in my life willing to lost the mind with me, so far, no one perhaps.
we would enjoy our last dinner before you leave to Perak, won't you? and i guess that would be the last thing i ever do for you, all the best my friend.
a sudden visit and meet up
on Friday, May 18, 2012
am i really sucks on managing my emotion?
this afternoon during lunch time, i called my grand ma saying that i'm going to have dinner with her since for real, it's been a long time i never take dinner with her, like almost 5 years? resting at her house, watching tv and chattering together, with cousin of course.
for a point, this kind of pissed me off. my mom got so frightened when i text her saying that i'm not going home for dinner, instead i would take dinner with grand ma. and my mom got so freak out, she even called me during working hour just to ask me why, that's kind of bizarre!
i know she's concern on what has happened on me making me going to grand ma's house, like afraid that i would do sort of things like confession? confession about what? i don't know, don't even attempt to ask me. mom, i almost a grown up adult, i might have some problems dealing with my emotion but i know what exactly i am doing, so chill!
but the little funny thing was even my grand mother thought something must be wrong with me. for 5 years or maybe more never for once i'm taking dinner with her but out of a sudden, today? but the way she reacted was kind of cute. i realize i love her that deep. she makes me feel so comfortable, something which cannot find in my mother. her tenderness, her touch, her words, everything that i could just listen and embrace. i can be the real me, the vulnerable me in front of her instead of acting strong which is not myself, somebody i barely recognize.
i just hate people question me in bewilderment. just don't, i would not do anything reckless like commit suicide, that was the most insane thing. never for once i thought this menacing idea pops out in my mind, that was too much to sacrifice. sacrifice my future on having a good life. living a good condominium or apartment, driving a cool car, travel around the world, make friends all around the world, do whatever which delights me.
after i reached home, i went straight to night market to get something to drink and a snack. that was a little surprising on meeting Sim Lu and her gang there. i actually, for real, wanted to call her out for company, but i gave up when i know she must be out there, somewhere in the middle of the night city. but then, i saw her appeared just in front of me, far from the city, at the same night market where i'm standing.
she called me to join them for dinner, but i declined her invitation. maybe people just being friendly to invite you to join them, but for all the time they're not, they just being polite. i don't really take it as an invitation anyway, i should just disappear for good. even Alex's girlfriend didn't say a 'hi' to me, so neither do Alex. i guess they still holding a grudge against me on the post i'd made previously, right before i switch my blog to private.
she is still the same, photogenic but not so for a real person meeting eyes to eyes, but still i like the way she being so natural, comfortable. but she did change a lot, on her wearing, hair which then made me caught her in my flashbacks, her face with pimples, a spec on her nose, her hair tight all up to make a pony tail, her old look, which is so cute. she's good eventhough in her immature appearance where blush can always be found on her cheeks.
before i left i promised Sim Lu to give her a call to hang out sometime, next time, maybe. what a coincidence, i just thought of her and she immediately appeared in front of my eye, just hard to trust my eyes and thoughts.
sometime i used to think if is she would be the one?
this afternoon during lunch time, i called my grand ma saying that i'm going to have dinner with her since for real, it's been a long time i never take dinner with her, like almost 5 years? resting at her house, watching tv and chattering together, with cousin of course.
for a point, this kind of pissed me off. my mom got so frightened when i text her saying that i'm not going home for dinner, instead i would take dinner with grand ma. and my mom got so freak out, she even called me during working hour just to ask me why, that's kind of bizarre!
i know she's concern on what has happened on me making me going to grand ma's house, like afraid that i would do sort of things like confession? confession about what? i don't know, don't even attempt to ask me. mom, i almost a grown up adult, i might have some problems dealing with my emotion but i know what exactly i am doing, so chill!
but the little funny thing was even my grand mother thought something must be wrong with me. for 5 years or maybe more never for once i'm taking dinner with her but out of a sudden, today? but the way she reacted was kind of cute. i realize i love her that deep. she makes me feel so comfortable, something which cannot find in my mother. her tenderness, her touch, her words, everything that i could just listen and embrace. i can be the real me, the vulnerable me in front of her instead of acting strong which is not myself, somebody i barely recognize.
i just hate people question me in bewilderment. just don't, i would not do anything reckless like commit suicide, that was the most insane thing. never for once i thought this menacing idea pops out in my mind, that was too much to sacrifice. sacrifice my future on having a good life. living a good condominium or apartment, driving a cool car, travel around the world, make friends all around the world, do whatever which delights me.
after i reached home, i went straight to night market to get something to drink and a snack. that was a little surprising on meeting Sim Lu and her gang there. i actually, for real, wanted to call her out for company, but i gave up when i know she must be out there, somewhere in the middle of the night city. but then, i saw her appeared just in front of me, far from the city, at the same night market where i'm standing.
she called me to join them for dinner, but i declined her invitation. maybe people just being friendly to invite you to join them, but for all the time they're not, they just being polite. i don't really take it as an invitation anyway, i should just disappear for good. even Alex's girlfriend didn't say a 'hi' to me, so neither do Alex. i guess they still holding a grudge against me on the post i'd made previously, right before i switch my blog to private.
she is still the same, photogenic but not so for a real person meeting eyes to eyes, but still i like the way she being so natural, comfortable. but she did change a lot, on her wearing, hair which then made me caught her in my flashbacks, her face with pimples, a spec on her nose, her hair tight all up to make a pony tail, her old look, which is so cute. she's good eventhough in her immature appearance where blush can always be found on her cheeks.
before i left i promised Sim Lu to give her a call to hang out sometime, next time, maybe. what a coincidence, i just thought of her and she immediately appeared in front of my eye, just hard to trust my eyes and thoughts.
sometime i used to think if is she would be the one?
i feel...
on Thursday, May 17, 2012
still the same, so many works to do today, and a lot of works in queue for tomorrow, haiihh so tiring, but kind of enjoy it.
Did i ever talk about Andrea? She's a lady in my office, to be a little specific, she's my boss's daughter, surprising isn't? you know what, actually i found her a little attractive, her beauty is that natural like breeze blowing so smooth at a meadow, just comfortable. from what i see, she didn't put so much make-up on her face, just foundation, which already able to show her beauty. sometime i can't help myself taking a glimpse on her attractive appearance. by the way, she has a naive inner side, like a little deer newly introduce into the forest, it just how i feel. i like her smile, kind of delighting me somehow.
no doubt she's attractive that her sisters.
today Frank and his gang going for a steamboat buffet, and they invited me, but i declined on that invitation. they gave me a feeling like i was invited because they having a problem on transportation. i hardly have words with his gang which i found they contribute only boredom, not my kind, so i don't force myself socialize with them, somebody who don't intrigued me.
that's it for today!
Did i ever talk about Andrea? She's a lady in my office, to be a little specific, she's my boss's daughter, surprising isn't? you know what, actually i found her a little attractive, her beauty is that natural like breeze blowing so smooth at a meadow, just comfortable. from what i see, she didn't put so much make-up on her face, just foundation, which already able to show her beauty. sometime i can't help myself taking a glimpse on her attractive appearance. by the way, she has a naive inner side, like a little deer newly introduce into the forest, it just how i feel. i like her smile, kind of delighting me somehow.
no doubt she's attractive that her sisters.
today Frank and his gang going for a steamboat buffet, and they invited me, but i declined on that invitation. they gave me a feeling like i was invited because they having a problem on transportation. i hardly have words with his gang which i found they contribute only boredom, not my kind, so i don't force myself socialize with them, somebody who don't intrigued me.
that's it for today!
PD + Malacca
on Wednesday, May 16, 2012
suppose I make this post on yesterday, but I was too tired to even stare at my laptop anymore after a 100 miles driving, I decided to make it today, which is now :D
it's sooo many works in the office today, since 9am my handing moving non-stop, it's only 2 days I'm not around and there left me so many works to be done. but it's quite good to bury myself with works so I wouldn't feel that free sometime, seriously, once i'm real free it's up to a point i starts yawning and my eyes would roll irregularly.
anyway, last 2 days which is Monday and Tuesday, I took leaves to go for a vacation with friends- Frank, Katherine and Phui Nying, and indeed I had a lot of fun, except the damn Tiara Hotel, it's more like an abandoned building. it looks like a building without maintenance for almost 5 years, it was so few people in the God damn hotel and for an extend I thought it was somehow haunted or what.
the room is stuffy hot, fridge was not functioning, water was leaking out of the air conditioner, the room is dirty, the toilet looked haunted, the cabinet was full with dust, and bed was uncomfortable, somehow caused a little itchiness, like fleas hiding somewhere in the bed. we would have to clean the room to make it stay-able for humans.
every of the equipments in the gym were broken, the sauna room was not functioning and even the switch was spoilt, unable to switch on the light, made it looks a little haunted. and the most ridiculous thing was the swimming pool. they addressed themselves the biggest man-made beach and what i can conclude was it is a ROTTEN lie!! you know what, once i ducked my body into the pool i smelt stink, no slight smell of chlorine, and i even able to find dusts and hairs floating on the water, GOD IT'S LIKE NIGHTMARE! it goona bankrupt soon.
after that terrible night, i woke up at 7am in the morning and wash ourselves. after breakfast we headed to Malacca. it was a last minute plan actually, i thought since we wouldn't want to stay here for another minute, why not we travel to Malacca, moreover it's not far from here.
So, we were there, in front of Mahkota Parade and Dataran Pahlawan, and jonker walk too. we end our trip there, by around 1pm plus, we called it a day and heads back to KL. and i silently bought a jacket at Mahkota Parade which i love it sooo much, but i can't let mom know, or i'll get scolded really bad LOL. And those bastards, my friends, all slept in the car, can't help it was too quiet and i drove like 140km/h, and it startled Katherine once she opened her eyes a little to adjust her seat to more comfortable.
and this trip, finally it works. I'm glad, because my friends were being so nice all the way, and cooperative too, to make this trip happens. Thank guys!
it's sooo many works in the office today, since 9am my handing moving non-stop, it's only 2 days I'm not around and there left me so many works to be done. but it's quite good to bury myself with works so I wouldn't feel that free sometime, seriously, once i'm real free it's up to a point i starts yawning and my eyes would roll irregularly.
anyway, last 2 days which is Monday and Tuesday, I took leaves to go for a vacation with friends- Frank, Katherine and Phui Nying, and indeed I had a lot of fun, except the damn Tiara Hotel, it's more like an abandoned building. it looks like a building without maintenance for almost 5 years, it was so few people in the God damn hotel and for an extend I thought it was somehow haunted or what.
the room is stuffy hot, fridge was not functioning, water was leaking out of the air conditioner, the room is dirty, the toilet looked haunted, the cabinet was full with dust, and bed was uncomfortable, somehow caused a little itchiness, like fleas hiding somewhere in the bed. we would have to clean the room to make it stay-able for humans.
every of the equipments in the gym were broken, the sauna room was not functioning and even the switch was spoilt, unable to switch on the light, made it looks a little haunted. and the most ridiculous thing was the swimming pool. they addressed themselves the biggest man-made beach and what i can conclude was it is a ROTTEN lie!! you know what, once i ducked my body into the pool i smelt stink, no slight smell of chlorine, and i even able to find dusts and hairs floating on the water, GOD IT'S LIKE NIGHTMARE! it goona bankrupt soon.
after that terrible night, i woke up at 7am in the morning and wash ourselves. after breakfast we headed to Malacca. it was a last minute plan actually, i thought since we wouldn't want to stay here for another minute, why not we travel to Malacca, moreover it's not far from here.
So, we were there, in front of Mahkota Parade and Dataran Pahlawan, and jonker walk too. we end our trip there, by around 1pm plus, we called it a day and heads back to KL. and i silently bought a jacket at Mahkota Parade which i love it sooo much, but i can't let mom know, or i'll get scolded really bad LOL. And those bastards, my friends, all slept in the car, can't help it was too quiet and i drove like 140km/h, and it startled Katherine once she opened her eyes a little to adjust her seat to more comfortable.
and this trip, finally it works. I'm glad, because my friends were being so nice all the way, and cooperative too, to make this trip happens. Thank guys!
encouragement for myself
on Sunday, May 13, 2012
so, this is the fragrance my mother always hope for, her very first original fragrance in her life which she never would buy by her own. so since today is mother's day, sis and i planned to give her a surprise, something very expensive and something she thirst for like 40 years?
Versace, i never heard this brand before, but i hope she'll like it. Happy mother's day again mum.
yesterday night i texted Yin and greet her happy birthday, a short message together with an apology and hopefully she'll understand. the thing is she was so cold, and don't even text back at least a 'thanks'? i don't know why am i still put my own head into such shit, and literally made me so fucking bad, it's irritating and devastating! why are they acting so cold like i don't care or what? she's not the first one who did this, Shin did the same thing which eventually i don't want to prepare her anything. in her eye, she has only her boyfriend and herself, or maybe her 'close enough' friend.
back to the times when she hasn't meet Laurence, that was real good hanging out together with her, until she met him, for an instance i thought she was kidnapped by someone, she just disappear from earth all a sudden. GOD DAMN IT SHE JUST DON'T FUCKING CARE. or maybe she just doesn't so close to me, anyway. and now, yin follows her lead, giving such face and doing like a non-responsive machine, God can you just give it a rest?
ya i am sensitive, but why won't you has a little conscience on my nerve? you guys just caught my nerve all the time! i don't know, i feel so unhappy.
i am soooo unhappy ever since the day i'd argued with my mum. her words still wandering in my mind, i can't breath and rest from that, my trachea was suppress by an unknown force, gasping for air. heart pounding irregularly, i can't feel blood inside my body.
i want to get a rest from all this. family and friends. i want to leave her for a while, go to some other place on my own, but it's just pathetic i can even support myself, everything seem to be so unaffordable by my own, how could life be so suffocating?
by time i graduate my degree, i'm so looking forward to my future's work, i'm so desperate for my course, and i'm so ready to enter university, get in touch with the content and in the future, and so well prepared to treat the patients. i need independent income which enable me to live on my own, do whatever i like, go gay, go bisexual or go straight, whatsoever. get laid every night with different gender, so world fucking hate me for reacting in that way, so ruining my good life? i can't even feel i'm alive here, i was maybe just like gas or vapour! god damn it! i hate it so much! i just want to be brave for doing anything, i planned so much for my life, coward of doing something real exciting or reckless sometime, i'm such a coward afraid doing anything which would hurt people, disappointing people, i get enough of this!
i mean it! by time i graduate and get a stable job, financially supported, i would, i swear i would do just anything. go down to pub every night, go down to gay pub occasionally to get laid sometime, get laid with woman some of my night, try bungee jump out, and SCREWED THE SALIVA THINGGIE! SHIT THAT'S SO ANNOYING! I JUST GOT CHAINED BY MY OWN RULES SO CALLED PHILOSOPHY! I'M SO TIRED OF IT!
just, Bryan Wu, endure for another 5 years then you'll broke free. do whatever you want, go wherever you want, spend a life you wish for and live for yourself. As long as you're still young, try everything out. give yourself a boundary. before i reach 30's, try everything you wanted the whole time, don't feel guilty and regret, remember, even though when you're old you might live a solitary life, but the moments and happiness you earned when you're young are non-exchangeable. you won't regret on doing something so delighting yourself.
you'll love your life, and you'll never regret. who knows, somewhere somebody is waiting for my existence, waiting our faith to meet each other.
disastrous night part 2
on Saturday, May 12, 2012
this morning i woke up early, actually i was awaken by a nightmare which i vaguely remembered a thing. since i was awake, i decided to go down stairs to talk to my mother, and eventually i don't think it's a good idea.
i went down, try to apologize about yesterday's incident, and she didn't seem like accepting my apology, which indirectly hurts me. and obviously she still holds a grudge on yesterday things.
seriously, she said i never concern about the things happening in this family. she said i never know, or don't care about this shit, which i seriously don't. what i'm trying to do always got rejected. i tried to ask them about our new house's renovation, and they always skip it for our sakes, God knows?
apparently i only care about myself, i'm a selfish dude. i care about my pc, play only with my laptop, live in the world of novels, enjoy only in Low Beng Choo Associates, hang out all the time my my friends, but don't even know a shit happening in this family.
and after that, she showed me a newspaper which she brought back yesterday from one of her client's home, and say:
'even your father's client which we barely know, meet only maybe twice a year was so serious and concern on your future path, and you, don't care!'
i kind of confuse, and i say nothing. what else can i say? she would just assumed that's all bullshit and hell excuses. i don't know what should i do. i doubting myself, i don't know what to say. and she eventually added on one more:
'i don't know what goona happens when you have a girlfriend, with your future family.'
oh God, i am so depress, maybe i should just go gay, no harm done isn't it? no expectation, no hope, no wish, nothing, which is great! sadness subsided.
end of story.
i went down, try to apologize about yesterday's incident, and she didn't seem like accepting my apology, which indirectly hurts me. and obviously she still holds a grudge on yesterday things.
seriously, she said i never concern about the things happening in this family. she said i never know, or don't care about this shit, which i seriously don't. what i'm trying to do always got rejected. i tried to ask them about our new house's renovation, and they always skip it for our sakes, God knows?
apparently i only care about myself, i'm a selfish dude. i care about my pc, play only with my laptop, live in the world of novels, enjoy only in Low Beng Choo Associates, hang out all the time my my friends, but don't even know a shit happening in this family.
and after that, she showed me a newspaper which she brought back yesterday from one of her client's home, and say:
'even your father's client which we barely know, meet only maybe twice a year was so serious and concern on your future path, and you, don't care!'
i kind of confuse, and i say nothing. what else can i say? she would just assumed that's all bullshit and hell excuses. i don't know what should i do. i doubting myself, i don't know what to say. and she eventually added on one more:
'i don't know what goona happens when you have a girlfriend, with your future family.'
oh God, i am so depress, maybe i should just go gay, no harm done isn't it? no expectation, no hope, no wish, nothing, which is great! sadness subsided.
end of story.
disastrous night
you know what, once I reached home and straight away i got scolded by my mother. Hours earlier when she reached home with dad, she called me to buy a bottle of drug for my father, and that she didn't say that the drug is actually use to reduce dad's leg pain,sort of like a pain killer, and i really have no idea that that drug has such function.
and before that, i told her that i was in a hurry, i got to rush to my friends' house to pick them up. Actually i'm doing a surprise birthday celebration with her- Ivy, but she didn't really take it as a surprise, more to like ' i know you guys will did this LAME thing, which is not outstanding. and actually i get kind of.. disappointed. maybe i shouldn't even have giving her such a LAME surprise, i just making myself a little sad, which i don't deserve! what on earth people don't even show a little appreciation on what people had done for them?
anyway, back to my old story. So, when i reached home, she start scolding me for not concern about dad's legs, didn't give a rat's ass on those households and things like that. For that instance, i lost my temper and i fight back:
'i'm really sorry and i wouldn't do it again. but at first, i really don't know that the drug dad taken for a month is actually use to reduce his leg's pain, i thought it was actually things like vitamin C, just for the purpose of good health. if i would know and you have told me it's real urgent, God, would i ignore it? i mean not ignoring it, just put it into a 'not so important' category? HELL NO! I WON'T!'
and she gave me a very unpleasant look, like i really never concern about my dad. look, since when i never care about all of your feeling? since when i didn't do the things you say it's urgent? since when i fight back ? i know, this time was just an exception. it caught me off guard!
and after i took my shower, dad came down from his room and started nagging saying that i was talking too loud with mom, which literally made her tearing and now crying in the room. Things like that went on and on, eventually he just sighed and went up stairs again.
i'm sorry, and you know i don't mean it that way. i love you, i always care about all the things happening around myself, and i wish to take over some of your burden, but you wouldn't let it happens cuz' i know you love us too much, don't want us to feel the same pressure and depression as how she felt currently. i really love you, and i was so grateful you are my mom. For all these unsupported moments making me out of mind, scratch my head growling deep inside my thought, and you are always there giving your best shot on giving a solace. i truly know that.
i just want you to know, what ever i did which ever made you feel sad, i'm really sorry, and i feel bad and guilty get things done in that way. I Love you, and happy mother's day.
and before that, i told her that i was in a hurry, i got to rush to my friends' house to pick them up. Actually i'm doing a surprise birthday celebration with her- Ivy, but she didn't really take it as a surprise, more to like ' i know you guys will did this LAME thing, which is not outstanding. and actually i get kind of.. disappointed. maybe i shouldn't even have giving her such a LAME surprise, i just making myself a little sad, which i don't deserve! what on earth people don't even show a little appreciation on what people had done for them?
anyway, back to my old story. So, when i reached home, she start scolding me for not concern about dad's legs, didn't give a rat's ass on those households and things like that. For that instance, i lost my temper and i fight back:
'i'm really sorry and i wouldn't do it again. but at first, i really don't know that the drug dad taken for a month is actually use to reduce his leg's pain, i thought it was actually things like vitamin C, just for the purpose of good health. if i would know and you have told me it's real urgent, God, would i ignore it? i mean not ignoring it, just put it into a 'not so important' category? HELL NO! I WON'T!'
and she gave me a very unpleasant look, like i really never concern about my dad. look, since when i never care about all of your feeling? since when i didn't do the things you say it's urgent? since when i fight back ? i know, this time was just an exception. it caught me off guard!
and after i took my shower, dad came down from his room and started nagging saying that i was talking too loud with mom, which literally made her tearing and now crying in the room. Things like that went on and on, eventually he just sighed and went up stairs again.
i'm sorry, and you know i don't mean it that way. i love you, i always care about all the things happening around myself, and i wish to take over some of your burden, but you wouldn't let it happens cuz' i know you love us too much, don't want us to feel the same pressure and depression as how she felt currently. i really love you, and i was so grateful you are my mom. For all these unsupported moments making me out of mind, scratch my head growling deep inside my thought, and you are always there giving your best shot on giving a solace. i truly know that.
i just want you to know, what ever i did which ever made you feel sad, i'm really sorry, and i feel bad and guilty get things done in that way. I Love you, and happy mother's day.
English by Ellen
on Thursday, May 10, 2012
I went to youtube and watch some of the videos, and that absolutely made my day! i'm not only burst into laughter, but grasping for air too, laugh too hard, it made me so breathless! oh yeah, videos are by Ellen. Ellen tv.
not only laughters, but i get to learn some new words like most americans and british tend to use it during having a conversation with each other. Like:
Ba-donka-donk
guess, what did it means? it means a big nice ASS!! can you believe it?!
okay, next:
Chuffed-to-bits. this is a nice word, i will use it very often i know! so it means 'pleased, like greatly pleased.' I'll construct a sentence using two words i just wrote just now: i was chuffed to bits by your ba donka donk!
I know, kind of hilarious... the last one: shawty!
that's actually a good looking lady with nice body curve :D
'look, there is a shawty walking down the street!'
how nice you get to know these words. like last time Priya taught me few:
bonker, kinky, daft dimbo.. that are just nice :D
love it :D
not only laughters, but i get to learn some new words like most americans and british tend to use it during having a conversation with each other. Like:
Ba-donka-donk
guess, what did it means? it means a big nice ASS!! can you believe it?!
okay, next:
Chuffed-to-bits. this is a nice word, i will use it very often i know! so it means 'pleased, like greatly pleased.' I'll construct a sentence using two words i just wrote just now: i was chuffed to bits by your ba donka donk!
I know, kind of hilarious... the last one: shawty!
that's actually a good looking lady with nice body curve :D
'look, there is a shawty walking down the street!'
how nice you get to know these words. like last time Priya taught me few:
bonker, kinky, daft dimbo.. that are just nice :D
love it :D
About Vicki
on Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Vicki someone who has been a stranger and now someone quite familiar to me after 5 months plus i working in Low Beng Choo Associates.
Today cm had a quarrel with aunty, and made both of them in a cold war. well, seriously i don't know how long would this cold war last. but anyway, at around 5 something in the evening, after aunty left the office, cm called Vicki and told her the incident happened in the afternoon.
and i know, which can be said it was under my expectation, Vicki seemed to be a little defensive for aunty, which indirectly giving yen a hard time answering Vicki all the answers. I should mention that something happened between yen and aunty too.. so there was a complicated time.
you know what, Vicki is a person who you can never play with. She is very hardcore, anything you think it you did the correct thing or that thing has nothing to do with you and you need no to bear the responsibility, but when it came by to Vicki's mouth, that you'll regret what you had just thought. Anything, is wrong, when it crosses Vicki's mind, she'll twist and turn it and eventually made it you was wrong, you were the one who made the mistake, you should take the blame, instead of blaming others. and Jasmine experienced this before.
and of course, i face such rubbish circumstance previously too. i was finding a file for Poh Chu that time, and i couldn't find it. you know what, i already find the storerooms for 4 times, yes, FOUR TIMES! I'm not joking, i'm grave serious, i almost make the whole storerooms up side down just to find out the file.
until next week monday, i got a call from that particular client which the file i was looking for since last few weeks was under her name, and once i was done with the conversation with the client, i straight away went to storerooms and find again, and i went to Ms Lee's room to find too. yeah, i found one, and it was it, but i miss see the name, her name was below the other name, so i missed it. so i leave it alone and until Wednesday, i got a call from Vicki and got scolded.
'Bryan, actually how you look for the file? i found it in Ms Lee's room, and there was the only Aman Perdana's file, no way you couldn't find it! what are you thinking actually!'
fuck, early in the morning, once i picked up the phone call, i splashed with water, freaked out. you know what, i had been looking for it for few weeks, made the storerooms up side down, just to help Poh Chu to find the file, you didn't even give a glimpse on it, and now she's slapping me with her hand, hypothetically.
and what did even Poh Chu did? all the while i was the one who looking the file for her, and the only thing she knows was keep complaining and literally give no hand to me. and eventually Vicki slapped me so hard, ending with:
' you'll need to think a way explain to Poh Chu.'
and i was like, 'what the fuck?' you know in that instant i was burned with fire, i clenched my fists and teeth, the strength, energy i possesses in that moment i know i can kill a monster! i was so mad about it! what did i even do? i know i miss see the file, but why are you scolding me like i never give an effort on it? i'm doing hell much of works and you didn't say a thank, for this you scolded me like mad, shit, i really hate it.
and eventually, i was wrong for unable to find the file out, and i was speechless, i don't know what else should i say, i lost my sanity to defence myself, i lost direction for about 10 seconds.
by time cm called Vicki to tell her about today, i know it myself, it wasn't a good idea. and so it proved, and i don't know what would happen to aunty, and yen and cm too.
just, Vicki isn't a simple person, anything you do, anything you say, when it comes to her, you have to be careful, just be smart enough to avert disaster.
Today cm had a quarrel with aunty, and made both of them in a cold war. well, seriously i don't know how long would this cold war last. but anyway, at around 5 something in the evening, after aunty left the office, cm called Vicki and told her the incident happened in the afternoon.
and i know, which can be said it was under my expectation, Vicki seemed to be a little defensive for aunty, which indirectly giving yen a hard time answering Vicki all the answers. I should mention that something happened between yen and aunty too.. so there was a complicated time.
you know what, Vicki is a person who you can never play with. She is very hardcore, anything you think it you did the correct thing or that thing has nothing to do with you and you need no to bear the responsibility, but when it came by to Vicki's mouth, that you'll regret what you had just thought. Anything, is wrong, when it crosses Vicki's mind, she'll twist and turn it and eventually made it you was wrong, you were the one who made the mistake, you should take the blame, instead of blaming others. and Jasmine experienced this before.
and of course, i face such rubbish circumstance previously too. i was finding a file for Poh Chu that time, and i couldn't find it. you know what, i already find the storerooms for 4 times, yes, FOUR TIMES! I'm not joking, i'm grave serious, i almost make the whole storerooms up side down just to find out the file.
until next week monday, i got a call from that particular client which the file i was looking for since last few weeks was under her name, and once i was done with the conversation with the client, i straight away went to storerooms and find again, and i went to Ms Lee's room to find too. yeah, i found one, and it was it, but i miss see the name, her name was below the other name, so i missed it. so i leave it alone and until Wednesday, i got a call from Vicki and got scolded.
'Bryan, actually how you look for the file? i found it in Ms Lee's room, and there was the only Aman Perdana's file, no way you couldn't find it! what are you thinking actually!'
fuck, early in the morning, once i picked up the phone call, i splashed with water, freaked out. you know what, i had been looking for it for few weeks, made the storerooms up side down, just to help Poh Chu to find the file, you didn't even give a glimpse on it, and now she's slapping me with her hand, hypothetically.
and what did even Poh Chu did? all the while i was the one who looking the file for her, and the only thing she knows was keep complaining and literally give no hand to me. and eventually Vicki slapped me so hard, ending with:
' you'll need to think a way explain to Poh Chu.'
and i was like, 'what the fuck?' you know in that instant i was burned with fire, i clenched my fists and teeth, the strength, energy i possesses in that moment i know i can kill a monster! i was so mad about it! what did i even do? i know i miss see the file, but why are you scolding me like i never give an effort on it? i'm doing hell much of works and you didn't say a thank, for this you scolded me like mad, shit, i really hate it.
and eventually, i was wrong for unable to find the file out, and i was speechless, i don't know what else should i say, i lost my sanity to defence myself, i lost direction for about 10 seconds.
by time cm called Vicki to tell her about today, i know it myself, it wasn't a good idea. and so it proved, and i don't know what would happen to aunty, and yen and cm too.
just, Vicki isn't a simple person, anything you do, anything you say, when it comes to her, you have to be careful, just be smart enough to avert disaster.
Brand new laptop
on Monday, May 7, 2012
you know what made me so happy lately?
Yesterday i went to Ikano Power Centre and bought my very first laptop in my life and now it was the most expensive things i bought currently.
Great! i really like my laptop. i vowed i will take good care of my laptop, hope you able to work as long as you can.
LOVE YOU !!! <3
p/s: the only thing quite irritated me was Vicky. kind of hate her actually.
Yesterday i went to Ikano Power Centre and bought my very first laptop in my life and now it was the most expensive things i bought currently.
Great! i really like my laptop. i vowed i will take good care of my laptop, hope you able to work as long as you can.
LOVE YOU !!! <3
p/s: the only thing quite irritated me was Vicky. kind of hate her actually.
dinner at Yuzu
on Sunday, May 6, 2012
how should i start it? for quite some time i didn't update my blog and there's actually quite a lot of things to update but pieces by pieces i slowly forgot.
never mind i would just update it about today.
in the morning i went to grand ma house with my mom and sister to bring her out for breakfast. from her face i can see how happy she was on just a little thing- brought her out for breakfast. you know how heart-broken when you see the person you love since you were a baby getting older slowly, and you know one day she would leave you here in the world.
i truly know one day she will leave me, all of us. that's a cycle, we couldn't manipulate it. for the mean time, as long as she's still breathing, i'll do my best to delight her, no matter what. by the way, i love you my dear grand ma, and i meant it. i apologize if i ever hurt your feeling. you know i didn't do it on purpose, just some time temper fooled me around. love you.
and afterward i go nowhere. until like 4 something in the evening, Elaine, Tina, Senese and Michelle came to my house and picked me to KLCC. of course i actually followed them there to get Ivy a birthday present. Actually i didn't prepare Shin a present, just, you know i just don't feeling like preparing her a present. she just don't, maybe?
and finally, we decided to get Ivy an eyeliner! we went to Ana Sui to take a look, anyway, eventually they decided to go to Leisure Mall to pick one, since there's nicer and cheaper, why not? i get you point Senese. so literally we didn't get Ivy anything for the moment until they picked one at Leisure Mall. But we do get Elaine's uncle a birthday present. A wallet! Bonia one. of course it's quite expensive, but at the end she still bought it. 240 MYR after discount? maybe he honored it.
And i heard Yean says:
'Let's get cch and ccc a pair of boots for their soon birthday present. kind of pity looking at them couldn't join us for concert all the time.'
and in that instant, i thought of myself. Would they prepare me something like that for my coming birthday? I couldn't control myself from thinking something so shitty, something rubbish. and i know, they would, why wouldn't they? i always hope they will surprise me with something, but sometime, i always told myself 'do not ever expect too much if you don't want to disappoint yourself which could cost a double damage.'
well, leave that undisturbed, let me move on. During a walk with the girls in Parkson, surprisingly, i saw The Three Wen there. The Three Wen as in Xiao Wen, Yee Wen, Jia Wen. that's really surprising cuz' ever since that Time Square outing, we never meet again until today, they suddenly appeared in front of me. still, i feel a little sorry for Xiao Wen. I just thought i gave her a wrong affection.
until The Three Wen told me something. that 'something' really startled me.
' i saw Ka Seng and his girlfriend there.'
and they pointed at the other area under the same department. that was like WOW! under this small department i met The Three Wen, and now Ka Seng would suddenly appears from nowhere, and i told my self urgently i have to leave immediately!
Actually why am I escaping him? I'm not scared of him but why i just want to walk away like i owed him a million or something? and i vaguely regret that i said something really wrong.
'I hardly talk to him anymore. i guess we're no longer friend.'
And the Three Wen stared at me in horror. immediately at the back of my words followed by a 'why'. of course i didn't answer them, why would I? you know actually what hell thing was wandering in my mind that time? a scene popped out in my mind setting everything into motion.
i see 3 of them talking silently, and then moving to a table sitting with their gang- Angel, the nasty Gordon, Ying Hao and the rest of them. I'm too lazy to list everyone out, they don't worth my effort. Talking so desperately about the words I've had said, and giggling happily for the tragedy happened among The Three Musketeers- Ka Seng, Priya and I. Last time Priya used to address 3 of us in that way, despite we no longer were until i held a grudge against Ka Seng.
I don't know, i just hate him, for all the things he had done, the childish immature things, i just can't forgive him for the moment. I just don't want to talk about him anymore. He literally brought me down.
After i said good bye to The Three Wen, my friends smelled something and starting to ask what had happened between me and them, i try to avoid that particular topic and brought out some other ridiculous topic lol. i know you guys are great, just something I couldn't be more revealing. I appreciate that, thanks a bunch, seriously.
And eventually, we had our dinner here. wait, their dinner here- Yuzu. A Japanese restaurant, the foods were really good.
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| Tina - Senese |
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| Carlisle - Elaine |
And after dinner, after a small walk and after i sent them to the orchestra, I left. I left to the man-made pool located outside the mall, and have my little muffin which i bought just now, alone. And i called Priya telling her i was at KLCC and those coincidence bullshits. Not more than 5 minutes, my phone's battery died. So, i guess that's the end of our today's conversation, and that time i have a much more serious problem- how do i get home without a cellphone to call my parents drive to the LRT station and pick me up?
Eventually, i found my way home, always, cheers! *wink*
i took a bus, and it's actually quite convenient. i enjoy riding a bus alone without any friend some time. The silence figuratively gave a calm feeling. Staring out the window and thinking of the things which just happened less than 3 hours ago, everything were so virtual, unreal. 'sigh', i ended the silence bus ride with this word in a solemn tone.
i guess take a ride on a bus when you're emotionally unstable is a good thing. choose a night time, that actually quite soothing. ;)
No Stings Attached
on Tuesday, May 1, 2012
'You should know, if you come any closer, I won't let you go.'
a sentence from Adam, from the movie 'No String Attached'.
i was introduced to this movie actually by myself. i was changing channels until a point that i got bored, and stopped at HBO. and there i watch the movie, which inspired me a lot. what a good movie, fascinating.
just in case you ask, i watch it twice ;)
and the soundtracks in that movie were pretty nice. the last movie i've seen was 'The Brokeback Mountain'. Indeed a good movie and so to it's soundtracks, just too good, these musics making the movie alive.
i guess i'm really in thirst of love, it's all i can figured as i was watching so intently while this movie was playing.
anyway, actually today i wanted to write something about Gordon, who is one of my college friend. but i guess i'll do it tomorrow, kind of late and tired right now.
p/s: how do you do in the second world, Black?
a sentence from Adam, from the movie 'No String Attached'.
i was introduced to this movie actually by myself. i was changing channels until a point that i got bored, and stopped at HBO. and there i watch the movie, which inspired me a lot. what a good movie, fascinating.
just in case you ask, i watch it twice ;)
and the soundtracks in that movie were pretty nice. the last movie i've seen was 'The Brokeback Mountain'. Indeed a good movie and so to it's soundtracks, just too good, these musics making the movie alive.
i guess i'm really in thirst of love, it's all i can figured as i was watching so intently while this movie was playing.
anyway, actually today i wanted to write something about Gordon, who is one of my college friend. but i guess i'll do it tomorrow, kind of late and tired right now.
p/s: how do you do in the second world, Black?
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