Movemen-Handling Test

My brain cannot stop thinking.

Today was my first practical test, tomorrow i will have another to sit for. I don't know, i'm not so satisfy with my performance. Bavita said i did just fine (she was my model) while Tammy said i was too hard on myself. Is that even good to have expectation? Maybe i will do better without it. As my last semester, i said i wanted to just pass all the subjects and it turned out to be better than that. Maybe i should just go with the flow, forget about expectation shits and just do my best, be happy with all my efforts. 

I reached home after one hour being trapped in the traffic. I left my bottle at university and my stomach had been empty since morning. In fact i just ate 2 curry puffs. I was freaking hungry i can devour a horse. When i reached home i ate like a starved croc. I told my parents and they didn't say anything about it. I was pretty tired i went to my bedroom, switched off the light and put on a record and fell on the bed and sleep dead for 2 hours. 

Now i am awake, pretty sure at first goona study about tomorrow test, but my mind still lingers at the previous test. That drives me crazy. I can't help it. I was awaken by the images of the previous test in my mind. Freaking test. I feel like my brain cells dying little by little. 

I have no mood to study at all now. I'm very tired but couldn't sleep. 

God please help me.

Believe it or not, this lifted up my mood a little.
I miss them already.

Tchaikovsky's Fifth

Today has been great!

Early in the morning i went to hospital with my mom. My sis has an appointment to remove the thread which the doctor used it to stitch earlier. So, after that, we went for breakfast, and i left home to university. Suppose today has no class, because we are having exams next week, all my classmates came to university to practise. Those are practical exams so we do need equipments, and Mr Arun was pretty happy to help us out even it was Saturday!

At night i went back to Ampang. I had a quick haircut at the nearby saloon. Then Elaine came to my old house to fetch me. Well, i was so excited! It had been sometime i never meet them and take a nicer picture since CNY. And today we all gathered for MPO concert! Today's theme- Tchaikovsky's Fifth. His fifth symphony and the MPO players are playing all the movements!

Of course we had dinner before going in the hall.

p/s: You all had been so amazing, always. And i had a very great time tonight. Thank you guys.

Disastrous incident

Only now i have time to update my blog. I was too tired for the past few days though.

Last week had been a disaster. I don't want to talk too much into details, but i'll tell you that my sister encountered a fall in the bathroom and she hit the back of her head. Massive bleeding, and seizure struck her as well. I would say luckily i'd learnt first aid skills in my university or i seriously do not know what goona happen.

It was terrible. She had 5 stitches on her back head and admitted into hospital for 3 days for observation. She done some scanning called MRI and EEG for safety purpose though. She was discharged yesterday. God bless. I looked at the bathroom just now, i cannot imagine how hard she had hit her head on the floor. I can still remember my hand was shivering after sending her to Subang Medical Center.

Now we got to look after her really carefully. I was a little afraid seizure might strike her again. You didn't see the situation, it was scary. I'm not exaggerating it. God bless.

Talking about my study, it had been very hectic. As i said in my previous post, now left the Friday work to do. Next week will be our practical mid-term exam then. I need to do some preparation, kind of worry i may make any silly mistake hmm...

I found this online:

 
p/s: missing my Ampang friends so much. Already can't wait for Saturday.

Works, debates, exams.

Doing a short recording, pretty tired, it had been a long day.

Few days ago i was rushing for my English assignment. I cracked my skull thinking what topic should i write which suits bachelor level. I looked onto Li-Fraumeni syndrome, a rare genetic disease and was already planning to write about it. Because of its limited sources and information, i passed. Moreover, there were so many medical jargon that i don't understand at all. The biology knowledge i learnt in A-levels has totally returned back to Ms Vicky hmm... Anyway, i ended up with Asthma and already done with it! Okay, one downed.

Today our class had a debate on HIV. It was part of the classroom teaching. I started looking for points and arguments online few days ago and with God's grace i able to control the debate. It was a good experience. I have always wanted to try out debate since the day Priya told me how they knocked down their opponents splendidly. Now i got a chance. I did not waste it. I did a lot of reading and gave a deep thought on my topic and again, with God's grace, the outcome was enlightening. Now our module tutor grouped us all accordingly, depends on every person's ability, ready us for another debate. A real and tough debate. I was pretty looking forward to it! Debate, i will do well! Okay, another downed.

Next Tuesday will be our infection control exam. Wednesday will have a presentation on obesity. Friday would have another assignment to pass up. Following another week, Monday and Tuesday, practical exams. Great, what a load of work to do before going off for clinical practice in Klang hospital. I can do this, you can! Pay more hard work and it'll fruited. How much joy you will have.

From that, despite a chance of losing anything, as long as one's has paid their very best, that's more that enough whether it's fruited. A person without any luck on anything, like me, the only thing you can do is paying your 110% endeavour. This has already greatly compensated your shortness.

Sometimes i feel i am measuring so hard on myself. I've given myself so much of expectation. I've made myself so serious i don't even able to handle a joke. I need to loosen up. If i keep this going, i'll one day go insane. Do your best and that's the end of the story.

After all, i just want to be a good physiotherapist which benefiting the public, even the world. That is my wish. For that, expectation comes in, stress comes in. I'm so afraid i couldn't handle mistake. I may look okay, but i, i have a part that you cannot see. An inner-part that you will never discover... No one has known...

p/s: the night with Priya was fun. That reminded me how much i have missed her.

CR result

Today i was pretty sad. Sad because of my CR result.

It's not my result wasn't good, but i could have gotten better. You might think all the candidates say the sane thing but not for my case. A mistake i couldn't even forgive myself.

I forgot to do one question.

Okay, fine, maybe not the whole question. It separated into part A and B, when i was done with A, i went straight to the next question instead of doing B. So, left B undone. 4 marks, 4 marks!! And the question was so easy i swear i can score a full mark!!

It's not that i'm not grateful or i was too hard on myself but this is a mistake that shouldn't be made! How could somebody like me forgot to left one question behind? If the case is i do not know how to solve the question, fine, i take that. But... but... Haihhh, i was really sad. I didn't speak with my friends the whole afternoon despite i sat with them all the time. They were real fond and kind to me, they had been trying to cheer me up all the while but you know me, once i was sad it lasts for a long time, it won't subside even though people are trying to chin me up. But still, thank all you guys for doing that. I think it is because i paid so much effort on it and that was what i deserve? That is the problem i reckoned.

So i told my mom when i was home. She squeezed my hand and spoke nothing. That was what i needed the most at that time. That was more than enough, and it meant so much to me. Love you, mom.

Really sad, dwell long enough for that, and i'm tired of being sad. Let's be awesome instead!

In the next test, i will do even better! I'm not going to leave out any question already! Promise!

p/s: Haven't been taking any photos lately... So bored.

Day of quotes

I saw a lot of quotes today on a page on facebook. The admin's name is Owen Yap. He is the news reporter on 8 TV.

He wrote so many impressive and inspiring quotes that make so much sense and those quotes are actually very close to our daily life! I mean whatever i've been through, he said it all for me. He actually made me feels so much better, lie the time i couldn't forgive others and myself, i've been suffering a lot and now when i think about it, that was silly. And there were so many more. I hope i somehow have a better memory so i can remember all and keep myself reminded.

He becomes my idol already. Haahaa!

p/s 1: Be yourself, be comfortable with yourself.
p/s 2: Do not compare with others, compare with yourself.
p/s 3: Forgive people and forgive yourself.
p/s 4: Something precious always worth waiting for.
p/s 5: Why mind so much on what others say? You are you.
p/s 6: The ultimate truth is silent is golden.
p/s 7: Don't give up on what you hold on to.
p/s 8: Make others happy. It makes you happy too.
p/s 9: You tell others who you are, not them.
p/s 10: Never ever rely on people partially and completely.
p/s 11: Complete your life with a purpose, don't lost yourself.
p/s 12: Don't mind too much on other's criticism. It hides you from success, what you want.
p/s 13: Talk your talk, walk you walk. Walk your talk despite other's talk.

my own quote always keep me going: Keep walking, don't stop.

Just happy i found it!

I've got story to tell but i'm too tired i couldn't stay too long. Just feeling to update a little cuz' it has been sometime i never drop anything here.

I was doing my revision just now, now i'm in grave fatigue stage so that's why. I have an assessment coming up in next few days, i just want to do well with all my efforts, willingly.

The main thing in this short post is i finally see the importance and the use of being a physiotherapist. Frankly speaking i'm not hardworking to be a doctor, so as my brain capacity to store all those vital information. But being a physiotherapist i'm not only learning the theory but the practical at the same time. Most importantly, the fee is affordable. My parents have always been supportive for me studying this course.

At the first 2 months i still remember i was struggling, i was new i reckon so i wasn't used to this course and new friends and new environment i almost cry and quit it. I'm very happy i didn't. I'm so impress i have walked so far, already almost a year! I mean, although 3 years more to go, i'm still happy i didn't quit that time. My parents will be sad and i'll now be regret. Anyway, my passion on journalism never diminishes, just i think i can do it later when i'm older. Something i wanted to get it done before i die.

I see how a physical therapist works. How the skills being applied. I do not know how to put it into words. The feeling is abstract but i can tell you it is so real! I'm just happy.

Now on i will do my best to stay in this course, complete the degree, get out of the university not only aim for money but to help people, gain experience and get myself into military camp to work! I've always wanted to do that for armies, i respected them very much! When i get older i wanted to volunteer to other countries to provide my professional helps to the poors, with whole volunteer medical team.

I want to do all those i mentioned above, sincerely. I always wanted to help people, and through this way, i can help all of them! I wanted to be successful, a good and successful physical therapist not to impress anyone or earn the world greatest fortune but to ensure my skills are correctly orientated so i won't harm anyone and instead restore their health.

I am very happy. I can't tell how happy i am. I thought i was wrong, very wrong to be in this course but now, not anymore. I'm so glad i'm here. I will do my best. I will. I promise. This time, real. So long i never been this happy and content. How great actually to find something you wanted to achieve. Those are goals i wanted to accomplish before i die! No matter what!

Keep walking, don't stop.

B.day- just another day

Nothing is good. Life is good with nothing happening. Dull is just another form of calmness.

I told Tammy and few friends who are closed to me in university and that made me feel better. They didn't speak much about their opinions and i didn't expect it anyway. Sometimes you just wanted to share something and no feedback asked. They got that.

I reached home, i slept for 2 hours. On the floor. It rained once i stepped my foot into the door, thundering outside my bedroom's window, He felt me.

My parents brought us out for dinner and there my dad met his friends. We talked briefly while eating, just casual dinner talk. The remaining of my night spent in front of telly. Planned to read a little but failed eventually, as always.

Tomorrow's class gonna be 2 hours only. My friends are planning to catch a movie afterwards. I was thinking should i go cuz' last Saturday costed me a fortune- the room. Sincerely, i didn't expect it was that expensive.

Last time i used to think b.day is a very important event and every of my friends and family have to remember it. As i grow older i realize... birthday is just another day.

I don't need any gifts, i don't need any surprise party. Greet me with a card, that's all i want. Simple as that. Or a dinner with me, that would be nice too. Nothing more than that.

Now, i don't ask more. I read, and i realize life worth more than that.

Start giving. Giving anything, any form.

People never learn to give, never learn to live.