disastrous night

you know what, once I reached home and straight away i got scolded by my mother. Hours earlier when she reached home with dad, she called me to buy a bottle of drug for my father, and that she didn't say that the drug is actually use to reduce dad's leg pain,sort of like a pain killer, and i really have no idea that that drug has such function.

and before that, i told her that i was in a hurry, i got to rush to my friends' house to pick them up. Actually i'm doing a surprise birthday celebration with her- Ivy, but she didn't really take it as a surprise, more to like ' i know you guys will did this LAME thing, which is not outstanding. and actually i get kind of.. disappointed. maybe i shouldn't even have giving her such a LAME surprise, i just making myself a little sad, which i don't deserve! what on earth people don't even show a little appreciation on what people had done for them?

anyway, back to my old story. So, when i reached home, she start scolding me for not concern about dad's legs, didn't give a rat's ass on those households and things like that. For that instance, i lost my temper and i fight back:

'i'm really sorry and i wouldn't do it again. but at first, i really don't know that the drug dad taken for a month is actually use to reduce his leg's pain, i thought it was actually things like vitamin C, just for the purpose of good health. if i would know and you have told me it's real urgent, God, would i ignore it? i mean not ignoring it, just put it into a 'not so important' category? HELL NO! I WON'T!'

and she gave me a very unpleasant look, like i really never concern about my dad. look, since when i never care about all of your feeling? since when i didn't do the things you say it's urgent? since when i fight back ? i know, this time was just an exception. it caught me off guard!

and after i took my shower, dad came down from his room and started nagging saying that i was talking too loud with mom, which literally made her tearing and now crying in the room. Things like that went on and on, eventually he just sighed and went up stairs again.

i'm sorry, and you know i don't mean it that way. i love you, i always care about all the things happening around myself, and i wish to take over some of your burden, but you wouldn't let it happens cuz' i know you love us too much, don't want us to feel the same pressure and depression as how she felt currently. i really love you, and i was so grateful you are my mom. For all these unsupported moments making me out of mind, scratch my head growling deep inside my thought, and you are always there giving your best shot on giving a solace. i truly know that.

i just want you to know, what ever i did which ever made you feel sad, i'm really sorry, and i feel bad and guilty get things done in that way. I Love you, and happy mother's day.