Contributions

Test today was... fine? I don't know, i did some stupid mistakes but it wasn't as bad as yesterday. For the strengthening exercise i forgot to mention contraindications, it was something i say ALL THE TIME and for the strengthening i FORGOT? I mean, can you even believe it? This is so moronic urgh!!

I told myself in every test, in term of every aspect, you need to improve. 

And our mentor Ms Chan talked to us already after the test. I was with Danny, so we sat together in front of Ms Chan and told her what was happening in our studies. It was funny that she started the whole intense conversation with 'Okay, how's life?' And i just told her 'It was hard' straight into her face. I know right, so she grimaced for a second and looked into our eyes replying 'Not so bad isn't it?' 

So the whole talk was about our studies, how were our progressions and what difficulties we encountering. Danny talked about him and i talked about my problem. So the whole thing from me was kinda came out easily, which not much happening in my life especially to someone i'm not so familiar with. Maybe Ms Chan is our mentor, so i have faith perhaps? throughout the course? I don't know it was too soon to find out. At the end she just said 'Sai Kit you need for confidence' and i smile a little.

Eddie and the rest was talking about the drinking session on Thursday straight after the test. Part of me feel like going and another part of me declining it. Of course it had something to do with myself, it follows mood, kinda, and i'm quite broke this week. I bought 2 books and a top last week, i compensate my last week pocket money by using this week's, so how much do you think i've left? 

Moreover Priya texted me just now calling me join her for Saturday's plan. It was a day trip, and i say 'why not? I've been looking for a day trip to relax myself and you bum into me with such amazing idea!' Her boyfriend, her friends and I, it goona be fun, with my best friend especially. Even a short trip, i'm enjoying the time we spending together. 

If you're given me a chance to choose, i don't see any reason why i'm not joining my best friend. It's something which normally all people would do. I promised myself to make myself happy at very first place, and i meant it. I'm assertive enough to say 'no' sometimes. Hope the trip turns out to be fine and happy. I'm a paranoid. 

I watched a movie called 'Nights in Rodanthe', yeah by Nicholas Sparks again. The movie was okay, nothing too special. Just one part really touched my nerve. Don't get me wrong, it was a GOOD nerve. Look, i'd mentioned that I wanted to join the army camp after i got my experiences, after i graduated, to help them out. It was doubtless that i want to do that, it was my wish to help everyone. In this movie i saw doctors went to some place where medical knowledges were greatly in need. I hope one day, if i'm given a chance, i would go to help out if they happen to need a physiotherapist. I just wanted to help using my knowledge, i like to see people recovering with smile on their faces, and i just want them to be healthy 24/7. I really don't take money into a big account, but the contributions, the health or services using my knowledges, i measure it in a great compartment than everything in my life, in my career.

I just wanted to help, it was always been my dream since i was young. I don't mine it might endangered my life, it was something i need to do, i hope to do, so i have to do, thus i won't leave any regrets.

That's my purpose here living in this planet to see something beautiful happens everyday. 

I'm going to sink myself into this course, give in whatever i have, come out to become a good physiotherapist, and go on with my wish.

And try my best to make things better. I swear.

p/s: As a professional, you need to know more than what you should know- Ms Chan

Nights in Rodanthe

Therapy test

The atmosphere at FB you couldn't believe that it was so depressing.

Today was our practical tests, and i was taking therapy test. Some of my friends didn't do well, and so did i. I didn't see the tank for hot packs, i thought they didn't prepare it for the test so i immediately change it to infrared. Eventually the examiner came and told me that the tank was there, and i blushed at that instance and you couldn't believe how embarrassing i was. I just hope that they wouldn't deduct my marks for that stupid mistake. I mean if the lecturer didn't say a thing, i don't know what goona happen..

Tomorrow is stretching, passive movements, resisting exercises and strength and endurance test, you know what, i don't know i have a bad feeling on it.

Hope everything would be fine.

Everybody's fine

Life isn't always that good huh.

I watched a movie called 'Everything's fine', and uhm, the storyline was really good. A father who staying alone ever since his wife passed away. He hope for all his children could come home for a gathering but everyone bailed last minute. He was upset. Despite his body's health, he insisted to visit all of his children scattered all over place in USA.

He first visited David, the son he worried the most. He was later understand that he already dead. He involved in using drug at a bar in Maxico, he got startled and swallowed the drugs at once. He was an artist, or painter, just hoping to be a son who his father would be proud of him. And he did that, his dad was really proud of him.

Then he visited his daughter- Amy. She lived in a big and fancy house, and her dad thought everything was fine with her. She wasn't good at all. Her son hated his father. His dad fell for another woman and left them. Amy was internally crushed but she tells nothing to her dad. Of course her dad sensed something going really wrong but kept silence anyway.

He was then left to Robert's. Robert played drum in an orchestra, his life was unstable, couldn't really hold onto any relationship due to his job required him to travel around. He always finds it hard to talk to his dad in any case, they could even argue about cigarette. His dad though he's a conductor but he's not, he feels kinda embarrassed and blamed his dad for looking so up high on him. His dad eventually asked him: whatever you're doing now, are you happy? He said yes, he got paid, he got chances to travel around, he couldn't be any happier. That was a lie, he wasn't that happy after all.

The last before he heads back home, Rosie, his youngest daughter i expect. She fetched his dad with a limo, a rented limo to impress him. She brought him up to an apartment she so called her apartment where that wasn't her's. She planned to bring him to a classy diner but the whole plan turned down when her friend or girlfriend or what rang the bell and passed her a baby, her baby specifically. She was pregnant, she told her mom but not him, before her death. At night he overheard a phone recording, a guy from the other side of phone asking back his apartment, he said nothing, and planned to leave immediately the next day just not to cause any problems to Rosie. By the way, her dad thought she's dancing, it was her dream. But no longer for now, she was a waitress in a restaurant.

His four children hiding everything from him, they have their problems and do not want to burden him any further. They were all headstrong pretend that they were all fine, or maybe they just don't so used to tell their hearts to him. Of course the old man couldn't help to get upset, everyone does. He blamed himself for not listening to his wife, for not spending more time with them. He was then got a sudden heart attack on the plane heading home and woke up seeing all his children beside his bed, ironically only able to gather them all under such terrible situation. Which was there he got to know David was dead.

On that coming Christmas all of them finally come home to celebrate with their dad, of course the old man was really pleased, while David celebrates with their mom. They may have problems, they may never tell him the stories they were undergoing, but he knows they'll be fine, and in whatever way he'll always love them and be proud of them.

That was what the movie all about, worth to watch.

I would be fine one day.

In the morning i took my breakfast with mom. I told her that one day i successfully graduated from Mahsa, with my experiences one day i hope to work in an army camp. She says she maybe not good enough to let me go. I don't know, that was what i'm thinking since last time. I hope to do something, everything, for everyone, to help them, in whatever way. Money is an issue, but there are so many things worth far more than $$.

If you ask me do you happy Bryan? I hope one day i could pull my chin up with confident: I'm very happy, mom.

I love you, mom.

Haji holiday

As i mentioned earlier today was a holiday thus i don't have any class to attend.

I did something great and stupid. I went to klcc alone from ampang without driving a car cuz' i don't have one, my parents were using it that time, so i took bus there. I brought my sister's bag, thank God that bag wasn't that feminine after all. I wore my mom's sport shoe which i don't usually do, i am particular on wearing some other people's stuffs, is kind of a personal problem. For  that my mom got pretty peculiar, i don't blame her i always overreact on something small like that. And luckily i brought some clothes back to Ampang, a pair of socks and a look-able top so i could go out to klcc.

with fully dressed and equipped attire, of course a bottle of water, umbrella, novel and all, i went out just like that, looked like an oddie where he miss and matched the clothes just for him to get out of the bored house during such blissful holiday. That was totally normal for somebody so hyperactive. I meant figuratively, don't really like sports though.

I enjoy the ride, i really do. I read novels, i looked out the window saw people were walking along the street, the sun showered the road and stoke his shines into the bus, the clouds molded into different shapes and all. But surprisingly there were not many cars along the way, and that's bizarre. You hardly see a day the path to klcc with such smooth traffic. I didn't even finish one chapter of my novel and i already here in my destination. Fantastic.

I missed the alone time. I mean, alone SHOPPING time. I do have so many alone time these days and i think that were really too much for me to endure. My parents lived in Ampang for my sister's sake, that's still different when you have to live apart with your parents. After so many years we had clung to each other out of a sudden we have to live apart, that wasn't hard to guess after all. When one gets too empty you couldn't help thinking too much, that was really bad back then. You have nooo idea.

I walked the whole mall. I walked the first floor looking at people wandering here and there. I saw couples walking with hands firmly held to each other, i saw families went in and out the restaurants and fashion boutiques, and some of them busily buying things. Observe people's works kinda amuses me. Then i proceeded to the next floor, and the next until the top most floor. I went into Kinokuniya and saw a lot of fictions which i so much interested in. Mitch Albom out with his new novel- The Time Keeper. Ahh i have so many books in queue.

I went to Starbucks too to get myself a coffee, name was something like 'salted caramel mocha', a new flavour made for autumn. I always remind myself these days to try out something different. Life is too short to scare of everything. Don't be too stubborn sometimes, leads no way at all. Don't always stick to the same old thing, you need something different to spice up your life. The color of your clothes, don't always stick to black white grey, try something vivid and eyes-striking. Colors make wonders to people who look dull. Don't always go for Caramel while buying coffee in Starbucks, it sickens me into the stomach every time i thought of that but couldn't resist myself from picking this boring drink ALL THE TIME.

I shouldn't be spending more like a cup of coffee from Starbucks since i already spent kind of an amount on books on the last Wednesday. Just feels to indulge myself. It makes me happy. Oh another purpose i went to klcc was to get something nice to attend Senese's birthday party. She invited me and i think it'll be good if to wear something good and mature. I'm 20 and i need some 'old' cloth already, i think?

I walked around and some of the clothes attracted me but the price was too much, i couldn't afford that. And a brainstorm out of nowhere, Uniqlo! And probably i'm right. Uniqlo was doing a massive promotion and a lot of clothes like long sleeves, cardigans, jackets and all were selling in low price. So i grabbed a long sleeve which was so much affordable that what i saw previously, and walked out of the boutique. If i didn't i guess i'll end up with another jacket. Actually i've got enough jacket but they were selling such comfy jacket in such unbelievable price! I need some self-control and i'm just glad that i did it.

With a cloth and a cup of coffee, i hit the road back home.

Night i was out with my friends, a small gathering after a long time. Katherine, Jing Yi and Violet they all came, and we talked our life. Were really great talking to them after such a long time. Great to know they were all doing great in their course. They'll be successful one day, that i'm sure!

I talked to Kath about him, and i think she probably already knew few pieces from Phui Nying. I was sad again, and then mad, slowly faded with disappointment. She is a future psychologist, and now i'm whining in front of her for free, that was great! haha! Thank you anyway.

I just hope it can soon subside and i can get over it as soon as possible.

And my night winded up in good. And i found another improvement again.

Supposingly the cashier returns me RM5 change but he
gave me 5 SGD instead, so got the drink for free, literally.

The improvements

You would be a lot happier when you learn the way to accept and embrace something, something beautiful or hideous. And i'm learning now, and i think i've got a lot of improvements this week.

My head wasn't that pain after all, and so did my neck muscles. It just gets so much better than last week which my world was falling apart. The lecture did good on me.

This week every day was practicals. So we see Ms Chan's face throughout the whole week. Today was public holiday but i went back to university anyway cuz' next week, a tough, hectic and nervous week goona be our exam week and i don't want to see myself screw up my exam. We took the key from Ms Chan and planned to do some revision on stretching exercises which goona be in our next week tests.

I took my friends out for lunch. We went to a Restaurant namely Tappers or Teppers i couldn't remember, in Jaya One. We walk around and to look for some Halloween stuffs and found something interesting ;D And afterwards we went to SS2 for some ice, which is good on such heat-streaking day. We talked for like an hour to share the stories of our own, and i know i'm now understand much more than before.

Humans need communication. It's a bridge to help you through all stages in life.

and i did henna on the last Wednesday. Around my angle and it looks quite cool, of course you can't use it to compare to those professional tattoo artists, they SUPPOSE to do better than them. And i kind of like it and i'm happy. That's the most important thing as what i've promised myself.

Something I wish to remember throughout my life:
-Stay Strong
-Keep walking, don't stop

I signed up the organ donation thinggie. That's the thing i wanted to do years ago but i have no faith meeting the organisation. On the last Wednesday again, my university was doing something like love-rising function where all those related organisations came here and promote the visions and motto, and i found that outlet. I'm just glad that i found that outlet. To be specific, Bavita found it first actually haha!

Anyway, just for my personal opinion, when a person died, means dead, nothing is left. You have no feeling, no sensation, nothing left because you're no longer belong to this world. You evolve and entitled for somewhere better than earth. Some religion says you can't lost any of your body parts due to this and that, for me it all is bullshits. You rather to see something precious rots instead of donating it to someone who needs it eagerly. That is really funny, and stupid, as well.

Last, i bought 3 Nicholas Sparks's books, yeah, again. So, this time i bought 'The Last Song', 'Safe Haven' and 'Dear John'. I just done with 'The Last Song', another great piece by him, and now i'm reading 'Safe Haven'. Thought to watch the movie first but it'll only come out next year. AND COBIE SMULDERS PARTICIPATED IN THIS MOVIE! I just know that i'm really going to love this movie like last time how i reacted to 'The Lucky One'. ;D

I already told this to my friends:

'If he happens to come to Malaysia, I would go and find him no matter what and ask for his signs on every book i've bought and catch a photo with him! I meant it!'

Lectures

My mom lectured me just now, and i don't feel any better after all.

The past few days were harsh, and those harsh times leaded to this lecture. I mean, whatever she did an hour ago was just to make me feel better, to calm my soul in pain, but that didn't wind up with any good.

My last test ended up pretty bad, as in my thoughts. The test wasn't that hard but personally i feel some sort like i never pay the best afford which i could easily do. Study wasn't really a hard task for me though but i just, i don't know, something bothering me quite bad.

This week I've got another test. A communication test. I promised i'll do my best this time. I know sick isn't a good excuse for not paying your 100% hard works, so i'm not going to use this excuse any further.

Talking about the lecture just now. My mom told me that i still haven't much calmed down after 2 months time staying alone. I'm still living in a own-occupied fancy, fantastic, fascinating world which probably i don't want to withdraw myself. She said i was still struggling. She said i'm not that kind of person who can sit still and read for few hours continuously. She said i'm not tough enough, physically, to work with my father. She said my mind isn't that cunning to compete in business world. She said i'm not stupid but my smart requires my hard works. She said everyone struggled throughout the whole lifetime but the hard part goona make you a pretty amazing person. She said, she hasn't see much improvement on me.

During the dinner, my father hinted me whatever i'm doing now doing nothing good for myself, and so for them. My mom and sister couldn't understand what he was trying to deliver but i sensed that, and i pretty much disappointed him in much way. He was a tough guy, and would always be. And i'm not much like him, i got crushed easily, in whatever way. He said something like 'i told you to pick something easier'. And i replied him 'like business that you always wanted me to study?'. he simply replied me with 'i never say that'. And i could tell through his sincerity. No parents would want their children to walk their mistakes. They blessed them and showered them with love  twenty-four seven. But i can assure everyone of you that my dad somehow reads my mind, occasionally.

Maybe they were right. For the past 10 years plus i was living in a very fancy world, or i should put it this way, a dream. I study and play and travel at the same time. I found friends who much like me, i had fun a lot. I told most of my friends or acquaintances who i encountered that A-levels was a nightmare but in a different ways i found a lot of fun there too. I found Priya. I found Ka Seng. I found Angel and the gang. I found ZiJie who i thought he goona be my lifelong friend, i found a lot of marvellous tutors, and never the least i found an awesome campus. So much better than Mahsa.

Not so much in Mahsa. Not saying that the people there weren't that amazing than TARC. They are terrific in their own different way. I think plainly because of the course i'd taken up made the whole thing so hard for me. I thought i would always fit in healthcare programme but i was.. i don't know, i can hardly say something sane already. Can i really cope the hell up with this? The first 2 months, to be honest really frightened me.

Or i should say i never give the best of me. My dad said i'm stupid for thinking something so crazy at my age. I told him if i've given a chance to choose that i want to live in a novel i like the most or the reality, i choose to escape this suffocating life. Of course this doesn't make my ear any better afterwards, he was giving me a life lecture, trying his best to change my mind. He was really kind of cute in his own way. I like him for being such adorable, some time of course. But the worst part of his lecture was the duration was too long. Apparently I hated that the most, i couldn't help rolling my eyes. Kids always did that, better admit that.

He asked me could you do this for the next four years? I did not answer him into his eyes. I am scared. But i know i just need some time, to embrace whatever it's coming. I know i can do this. I don't want anyone to look down on me, and so my family. I kinda feel it i'm doing this for my family though, it's stupid.

I would just need to let go of my worries and go for it and smack the obstacles. Because of him i was internally crushed, and i know prefectly that i could do this, once again. Not shooting the moon, but at least among the stars.

The warriors I newly met.

Welcome, Lucy

Did a presentation in Professionalism class. My team members were Tammy, Bavita and Sarojinni. It was fantastically done, we all were glad on our performances. But maybe my self-expectation is high, and i think i didn't do well enough in the elaboration part. Anyway, i gave whatever i had.

And a good news! My father brought back a dog, it's a mix breed of Schnauzer and Dalmation! She is only 3 months old and she is so heartmelting! Just a little sweet heart! And her name is Lucy. My mom gave her this name cuz' she looks very girl and well, for me i personally think that name is too cheesy LOL!

Anyway, here's few of her photos:

I'm glad you came Lucy <3 div="div">