Insecurity

I'm having vacation in Peneng today and supposedly i have few more days in Peneng before heading back to KL but something is bugging me. I don't feel comfortable. Bavita came up from KL today, she just reached here and i told her i gotta leave tomorrow. I was messaging my friends about me in Peneng and she told me she is here too. She said she's leaving tomorrow and immediately i asked if i could go back together with her. I didn't even think much i just feel like leaving this place.

Yes, i do miss my home. I miss my parents and i miss my sister. I miss my bedroom and i miss all the facilities in the house but then, this wasn't the thing that bugged me the most. What is it then? I hope i know. I don't know, genuinely. My mind is so fucked up this morning i wasn't even feel like leaving the house. As Bavita called to inform that she reached Peneng then only i started preparing myself. What do i want..

I don't feel happy. I don't. What makes it so? I don't know.

I miss Kedah. I miss KL. Maybe, Peneng is just not the place. This state is just not homey for me. I just want to leave. Sometimes, i just feel words alone is not enough to fully express how a person really feels.

I'm feeling... feeling so insecure.

你說笑完了卻想哭，我知道你心中有靜水流深的情感，堅強久了也需要撒嬌，壓抑不住那蜿蜒不可探，如幽谷難有人煙卻汩汩溢出的泉也無所謂，用更多的微笑照耀他，你知道總有無以計數的我，從密密的枝葉裂縫間透入，陪伴你。- Sodagreen