Rethinks

I went down to Ampang yesterday with my family. We just thought we could use a peaceful night over there and who knows my sister fell sick. We came back to home immediately the next day. My parents told me i was an ass last night for whatever reason. I can't remember any i thought i just behaved like how i usually do. I don't know maybe this thing has something to do my misbehavior.

I knew my friends were gonna meet up later that night they'd been discussing it in Whatsapp. I knew i would go down to Ampang and i said nothing about attending it. The day in skybar was fun, was fun in a way that i couldn't feel so much because i was too caught up with my moment. Marriage and stuff that threw me off guard. Yin came back actually that was why they all meeting up with each other. I didn't know the reason of her coming back in such a short time and neither i asked. I thought we'd nothing to talk, not a common topic we were having back then and... that made me uncomfortable. They seemed to be doing fine but not me. Not me. Yesterday night i slept at 8pm and i woke up at 12.30am. Later slept again at 4.30am. I don't know if i'm the problem; i think i gonna miss 'reunion' later in my life.

I watched an episode of Grey's Anatomy season 3 just now. It was about Christina and her friends. She kept a secret of Dr Burke and stirred up a complication between them. The narrator said the ones that stick til the end are those who worth keeping. That's referring Christina and Meredith. That brought me back to Ka Seng and Priya. We argued and Ka Seng called back. Back then i was even thinking of breaking the whole damn thing up because all we did was fighting, all the time. Pondering what was being said in Grey's that made me rethink all this mess.

I once thought i had it all. Those who stick til the end are family. We back up each other and we protect and help each other. Those are what family does. I had a lot of friends i took no granted saying it. I poured all i could to keep all the friendships i had back then alive. I should just say this friendship thing takes two to make it interesting and memorable. So, at the end of the day, i broke few cuz' i took side and somebody broke me in some sort of way. I can't say that i don't care at all now cuz' it still pains me thinking about those memories. Bad time. Specifically, i sided Ka Seng and once i thought i made a huge mistake, his call makes me rethink again. So many rethinks going on.

Yesterday when i was waiting myself to fall asleep again i was considering of erasing part of the memories from this blog; some posts. I think i don't have to do, it's not necessary. This is part of me; part of my growth. It supposed to be there. That's how i grow to be a better person; to do greater things, to do better things.