The only one person who had me felt like i'm in love was her. She was the only one. And at the end, it ended pretty hideously. Until today i'm uncertain if it's a mistake or not. But we are still friend. She moved on, she found another one, she seems happy. And no one i encountered so far ever gives me the same feeling anymore. So, i shall be patient but sometimes thing gets hard, you know?
I'm still at the same place, stationary. I didn't know if i have a fix feeling on one gender, i can't tell and i certainly hope i can. It's not it. I uhmm... pretty embarrassing to tell that i'm personally attracted to someone rather than sexually attracted. I don't know, thing will definitely be easier if i know what the hell i want. It had been a few years now. I convinced myself 2 times: 1, i'm straight. 2. i'm gay. And i'm neither. I can't tell, it drifts. Maybe i really am going both ways.
However, I already got over the fact above so it doesn't bother me anymore. I will still get respect if i respect myself and others. Gaining respect as an individual is better than asking as a group. It doesn't go that way. But, i really want the same old feeling she gave me last time. That nice and heart-pounding feeling. We'll see how life leads the way.
An article said: I traveled to numerous places to find that one person but he/she eventually ended up in front of your door pressing doorbell. That person is from the same neighbourhood as you. I'm unsure about it, but i will stick to my original plan which is travelling around to see where suits me the most. I even started learning German just in case in the future i end up in one of the European countries. Early preparation is always better i believe.
But one thing never changed. Have always wanted to be a father. So, yeah. That thought made me smile.
Let's take everything slowly.
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