actually not planning to do any posting but i feel a little uncomfortable, so im here again today.
early in the morning the fucking malay woman pissed me off, because of a touch n' go card. i know it's a small thing but when she shows you her fuck face you'd really want to punch her in her face,damn it sucker!
anyway, the main point wasn't that. the moment when i was walking towards lrt after work, i start to think actually through out the whole damn time who is that bitch that actually made me so upset. and know i guess i know who is that bitch.
just a small little clarification, that bitch isn't a human.
in the office after 4 something i was quite free so i decided surf the nets for short while, of course fb'ing is something unavoidable. i saw people who is so famous and so well in socialize. actually last time i thought i'm good in socialize but now i realize i wasn't, and i am wrong the whole time.
the think that made me feel bad is the attraction. last time in secondary school i was kind of, how to say, people talk to me all the time and you never feel left out, but these days i kind of feel that way. the way i used to be in secondary school had gone. thing never come back and im still stubborn to keep believing, i just not willing to put it down.. see i guess now i finally get my very personal reason, that no one i can talk to about this.
the attraction, yeah... i feel so lonely, like i always live in solitary...
for that reason, i want to be in a relationship. i want to get a girl friend but it seems so hard to achieve. i was so talkative to mostly all the girls but when you go some more deeper, you'll find that pretty unapproachable. i want somebody who i can share time with, somebody to listen to me, somebody to spend my time, somebody who i willing to spend my time to surprise her, a lot and a lot more... but it's quite hard. i always give myself an excuse:
'you haven't meet the right one, be patience, that need not to be rush.'
but how long more? i afraid one day when i opened my eye early in the morning and realize that today is my 30th birthday, happiness turns into tragedy. i want to build my own family, spend my time with them, spend my whole lifetime make sure all the thing work in a correct orientation, and everything! bring them to my life and going into their life at the same time... imaginary makes people feel good isn't it?
one day, it will come true...
and i saw an article about a doctor taking a foetus out from a mother's womb in order to save his little life. i mean, i love to see that, hope and care always around us. the thing is always in my mind biology always the best, cannot compare it to physics, just two different thing and i support bio all the time. i know one day i'll shout out loud:
'i did not choose the wrong course and im not in the wrong career!'
