It's been awhile. I got covid a week ago. Caught it from colleague when we were having lunch together. She reported herself as positive on the next day and so I naturally went into quarantine. I was fine on the first day and symptoms started surfacing on the second day onwards. Pretty nasty. Sore throat. Fever. Coughing. Heaviness in the head. Sleepless nights. You name it. Especially the sore throat. It felt like ripping pain every time I try to swallow. Very much unlike the previous sore throat. It's just too painful. But, well, I survived. Still coughing and occasionally feel that I need extra energy to pull a deeper breath, but I'm alive.
Work's as usual. Pretty boring. Still looking for opportunity. One of the mornings couple weeks ago, I was randomly talking to my mother that I feel so dreadful to go to work lately. Or should I say ever since I started working in this new company. It's not that they're not good to me, it's just... a boring place. Peaceful, no challenges, it's just a routine day work without any learning input. "Mom, I have never felt dreadful to go to work the whole time when I worked in the hospital and that makes me very proud of myself. So many people dreading themselves to work and I wasn't. I look forward to the next day. For as long as I worked in Adventist Hospital. I enjoy working with the teams. The docs. Nurses. HR. Radio. Pharma etc. and now I feel so dead." My mom nodded and replied 'I think you enjoy working in a big family more."
I've been pondering what she said and I came to agree with her statement. That's the answer I failed to give myself. Life is all about choices, right? I chose a company that pays better but it failed to provide me the satisfaction I need. But, it's just ridiculously low the offer I got from the hospitals. How ironic that it comes from a high-stress environment that almost can't tolerate mistake. And people told me that I should be happy for working less for more but, maybe, this is not what I wanted after all.
Covid got me thinking... you have 1 life, and limited time here, and your live can be claimed just any time. What do you want to make out of this little time here? Life is about choices. Own up to the consequences of the decision you made and live with it.
Worry less. You will be alright.
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