She knew my brain my body is so complicated and she wanted to give us a try, saying that she didn't want to regret for not giving it a try. Part of me wanted it and part of me stopping me. In some way i find myself selfish. I don't know if i'm trying to rush into a relationship simply because that i began relying on her. Should that be the feeling of affection? Do i really like her? Or i just thought she's a very nice person? I hated myself so much for not able to understand myself. At the end, i crapped something and she said she will wait for me until we grad from undergrad school. And i did all these over the phone, which was really really lame.
She is a very decent person. She knew almost every bit of my problems and she still said yes. I feel terrible. I cannot guarantee her anything because im unsure of myself. It's me, it's all me. It sucks being me sometimes. It's just too complicated. The question now is: Should I, or shouldn't I?
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