Because of her words i fell to the corner of emotion crisis. I have a very low EQ, people's words do bring a percentage of influence to me. I'd been very careful with people's words and told myself not to be so sensitive over whatever little things they said. I told myself this the moment i wasn't the same as other people but i'm an absent-minded person, it always slipped my mind. I told my mom what happened as i reached home and she said don't worry my dear, i will remind you very often. That was the time i felt the abundant love my mom have for me this long. Love you, mom. And my friend Bavita, she had been listening to me all night and offered plenty of ways to help me out of the crisis. I'm feeling really blessed. Thank you for helping me out, Bavita.
Just ten minutes ago i saw a picture online and watched a short video about it on YouTube too, it reminded me of something i promised myself that i have to do when i'm grown. The Hollywood star Scott Neeson, he gave up all his legacy and raised a children fund in Cambodia to help the children in need. It's pretty interesting to read his own words on a picture other people tagged him. His own words. How many people can give up all he/she has and put himself, live in a garbage dump instead of a mansion? I can't tell if i can do that.
It reminded me that when i was little i told myself and my parents, 'mom, as i grew up i want to travel to the place where it needs me; i want to help the people in need. Money doesn't matter but i want to help people with what i know. I want to make the Earth a better place.' More or less the same and i know it seemed like a cliche, but trust me, i did not lie. Now i'm 22 and all i think is to graduate, to work and move to somewhere i love; travel and see where it suits me the most and settle down. I totally forgot about my promise. I kept thinking about the place where has greater acceptance towards my identity and somehow in the process, i lose my mind, i forgot about my promise. I forgot about my military thing.
I'm a terribly forgetful person. Or i'd just changed? I hope i had not. Let me show you what Scott Neeson wrote:
Hi, I just came across this site and since I'm the man in question, I thought I should jump in. Thank you for your all the kind words. It has been a labour of love. I can promise you all that what you read and see is what you get. There is no other agenda, never has been and it's not hard to verify: so to clarify a few things: I'm no Buddha and I still miss much about my Hollywood days. I liked having a boat, a nice house and plenty of money to spend on "stuff". I would rather spend a Sunday on my boat in LA than in a garbage dump here. But there has never been a time I have regretted the decision to move here. I love the kids here and I love that I can change lives so profoundly. In terms of the less positive comments, such as "let's wait and see his real motivation" etc. Well, I have been here ten years and there's no young Cambodian wife, nothing remotely unethical. We aren't an orphanage, we are a wide open, work with the families and there are no secrets. We are open to audit and there are plenty of volunteers and visitors who have spent time here and have left "reviews" (all 5 star) on the likes of guidestar.com. In terms of whether there is more need here or in the US or elsewhere, I just don't see that it matters. I made a personal choice between a ritzy, opulent Hollywood life and the one I have now. I chose this one. I don't take offence at being judged, seriously. I just don't understand why people find my choice so personally infuriating. Much of the media over the past years has said that I "gave up the American Dream". I completely disagree. I am an American citizen and the Dream for me wasn't about fast cars, Academy Awards etc; it was about having the freedom and the opportunities to make my own choices, and live with the consequences, and that's what I'm doing. Thank you for being so impassioned, positively or otherwise. It sure beats apathy. Scott
What he said is true. Here is the link directly to the video:
And i have no idea how to wrap up this post.
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