awaken

i went to youtube tonight, just to listen to a song that i wanted to listen long time ago, a song that i like very much, from Sammi Cheng. i mean, from young, she's my idol.

i watch a live video about her. how i feel now is.. 澎湃? i do not know how to describe it, but i get a lot of comfort from what she had said in the interview.

a lot of things which she said in the video, hit me like bullet, accurately to my body.

i need to change. i need strength. i was extremely down in part of my life and i do not know where else i can go except towards my family. of course my family is important to me, but i need another source, who can helps me and comforts me.

now, i know what should i seek for. keep moving on, don't stop walking. look for the thing you missed in the past few years. i throughly understand that, sometime, religion, isn't about superstitious, is just that you need Him to help you, rescue you, comfort you when you're going to explode.

we're a small creature, we cannot affort too much of stress or burdens, you need somebody else, like family, or maybe Him to help you out. i understand it, because i've been awaken.

p/s: 有时候，那种性格不叫“直接”，而叫“自私”。