Understanding love and positivity

I went Hatyai last week, with my colleagues. I had fun; good foods, good place, good companies, good time. While we were travelling to the hotel JY said he did not hear me complaining anymore; he haven't heard me say that i will one day change my profession bla bla bla for so long, instead, he heard me talking more and more about the future of this profession. I whined quite a bit back then but the funny part was i also didn't realise that i have stopped whining about it. Let's give myself a little more time. Oh, he also said my Hokkien has improved a lot, which i think is the best news for last week.

Did i say i went to get my tattoo done last month? It's almost one month old now and my fondness towards it is growing every day. It is a tribal shark, simple perfect. I didn't know the first 2 weeks itched so so much. The worst part of getting a tattoo was the itchiness. I have to constantly distract myself or the itchiness will kill me. *Striking off 'getting a tattoo' from bucket list.*

I'm feeling weird these days. I constantly feel something is missing from my life. Then i talked to an old friend and she said maybe i need a new hobby, but that was not what i'm looking for. She then said i need a make over from the inside out and i immediately told her never to talk me into gym because i hated it. Well, she said i don't need robots i need human beings! What a way to put it but she gets what i mean. I cannot wait to see her in September. 

The more i work the more i feel the importance of these 2 things: Understanding love and positivity. It's time to stop complaining and try to make things come true. Be optimistic, be positive, i believe these traits will carry me far. Do your best and believe that God will lead the way. And focus on the good things. Do not magnify the bad parts of a person but try to embrace a person as a whole. I mean, it's hard to live in a state where you cannot see the good part of a person.

Overloading...?

I was asked a few questions last week and it got me into thinking about them.

My colleague asked me if i have 5 million dollars will i still work as what i'm doing right now? Without thinking much i said no and the reason is simple... it's physically and mentally demanding. Then when i think about it again... i probably will because this job give me a sense of satisfaction. I don't know why i denied it when i was asked maybe it may sound not cool but the answer after serious thought is yes, high chances, yes.

Second one, my colleague said i was overloading myself; i overworked myself. I kinda agree because i constantly feel the connection between effort and reward is not there; it is not balance. Simply because of this the rest decided to not overworking themselves, which was completely fair. Nobody should overwork themselves because work-life balance is important. But why i still chose to be overworked? My dad always tell me one thing: Work wise, don't be afraid when you are being taken advantage of by your organisation because working harder will make you better; in another word you grow better and smarter. I always tell myself to finish my job on time and never give extra minute to every patient i see but i also always ended up with overspending too much time. I don't mind even if i have to stay back although it sometimes made me a angry man when the situation got too taxing for me. But will i do it again? Yes, i most probably will. Why? I don't know my body just does that automatically. It runs in my blood. I think... i was just less calculative when it comes to this aspect.

Third, it just slipped my mind! I'll update again when i remember. Until next time, amigos!

Magic

This is the most tiring week so far. Yet tiring, but also the week i get very emotional. There were many things that happened over the week but two particular things that i can't seem to shake off my mind. Last Thursday was very, very busy. My available slots are fully booked and i got 2 extra patients that i have to see and that made my slots overbooked. I wasn't too pleased at the end of the day because i was just too tired. And the documentations that i will have to finish. If there's 16 patients then i will have to write 16 documents. And many other things. Anyway, back to the topic, the two things that made my week a memorable and probably the best week so far.

I have an appointment with this patient last Wednesday but he didn't turn up. That was supposed to be the last appointment with him with a final check before he leave to further his study in Indonesia. So he made a phone call the next day and hopefully to be able to see me. That's one of the reasons why my slots were overbooked. Anyway, he came and his mom came too. I ran the last check and discharged him, in person, officially. He told me he appreciated my help very, very much. He started with wheelchair and now he is able to walk with good balance and little pain and the whole process lasted 6 months plus. Our conversation didn't last long because i was really busy but we took a picture together before we bid each other goodbye. I didn't have time to think about it until one day later, when i think again, i feel so moved.

Another thing happened on the same day too. She had terrible accident and basically her wrist is a total lost, out of control of the brain and unable to follow the command. We started from scratch and she is now able to perform almost everything perfectly fine except it somehow still look cosmetically weird. She came that day and showed me something that brought an immediate smile on my face. She's able to control her pinky finger already. She said she wanted to snap a picture and send it to me but later on she decided to show it to me in person because she believed it will give me even greater surprise, which it did! I then literally told her that my job is done and can be discharged unless she wanted to continue for maintenance until she's ready for the second operation. 

I discharged many patients and gratitude like above i don't receive as often as, i believe, i deserve. They often tell me that's my artwork and i made them feel like a human with dignity again. I usually tell them that, yes, i do my job, but you did a lot more before you come to this stage.We simply synchronize well. 

There i think again, i think i can work for another few years, or probably my whole life if the same appreciation is given to me from time to time. Road to recovery is a pile of hard works. It takes time. Physiotherapy isn't a magic but with time and hard works, there comes the magic. 

Respect us too, please.

I had a good holiday back home. I left Peneng last Tuesday night and went back KL. My parents picked me up from the airport and we went McDonald's for supper. I was glad to be home. I went back and i felt like a tourist visiting many places i haven't been in a long time. I went out to many places with my mom. I have missed her and i didn't know i missed her that much. The Saturday on that same week was Mother's day. We went out for dinner. I was happy, she was happy, everybody was happy. I am so so happy to be home. Before i went back to Peneng I told my mom that i can continue to work for another 2 more months already because i feel charged.

There were problems waiting for me after i got back. A bad conversation on the phone was supposed to pissed me off but yet, i was calm. I hung up and continued my job. I think i started to understand the fact that i should not take hard feelings hard. It is bad for my health. It was a unhappy and disrespectful conversation but yet i know i won't be able to do anything so... so i let it go and do what i should do. I think my EQ has rose.

Another thing is, help those who wanted to be helped. I was pretty upset that i was working so hard to help them but yet they don't appreciate it. Complain on every single little thing that they are not happy about. Although i'm not a doctor but i work hard too on getting you back on your feet and even achieve much for that just walking. Respect us too please.

Sometimes i think... i work and work and work and i didn't know what i was doing already. What's the meaning behind all these work that doesn't really pay off?