My kinda Christmas

I went to work on Christmas eve and Christmas so i don't get to celebrate. I took thousand of pictures of shoppers with Santa Claus and i didn't even get one. That's fine, i was working so that's my job. But i started to have phobia of people calling me to take picture for them. When you do the same thing over the past month i'm pretty sure your smiley face will vanish too LOL.

If i would to celebrate my Christmas, this would be it:

I wake up in the morning and somebody prepares me breakfast in bed. The two of us will eat in the bed and drink coffee and wish each other Merry Christmas and kisses each other with our stinky mouth HAHA!

Then, we will exchange our Christmas presents under our big and beautiful Christmas tree and exchange another kiss. 

Then, we will prep ourselves up and go out for a wonderful lunch. Hardly the lunch can be romantic but, well, i guess it doesn't matter that much it's Christmas and it's crowded everywhere how romantic can it be anyway. A wonderful lunch, and some casual conversation. 

Then, head to our parents' house and celebrate the evening right there. Kids running and folks nagging and bla bla bla..

Then, simple dinner at home with our agreed-upon DVD choice. Oh, and grapes, feel like grapes after dinner. Snuggling in the couch draped over with blanket and eat the grapes together. Finish off like that, or probably some bedroom sport if it feels right <3 i="" nbsp="">

Not so much to ask for isn't it? Ahh, how nice if these things come true one of these Christmases... Although it's a little bit late buttttttttt Merry Christmas everyone! And happy new year too!

Lonelier than ever...

This is an emotional week. I have a lot in my mind but i don't know where to begin with. In short, i'm feeling lonelier than ever...

Teachers aren't teachers anymore

I want to write about being a teacher today.

My sister came home from her clinical placement and told me the same thing i had experienced before when i was doing my placement back when i was in year 2. Teachers are not really teachers anymore. She told me how a clinician can be so humiliating and verbally assaulting people, or students, as if students are just so much inferior. I hated such stereotype. Why is student always wrong and why can't the clinician open up a little and just DISCUSS instead of ARGUE. I admit sometimes some students are the pain in the ass but rather should you generalise all the students. Whatever my sister is experiencing now, i can totally understand her because i have walked the same path, all the senior clinician are sadly like that, as if they know everything and we know nothing but shit. Well, maybe they do know everything but as a teacher, should you say such degrading stuff to a learning person? If we know everything from the head to toes why would we come for clinical placement?

You know how i feel about teachers these day? They teach for money, not for keeping the profession alive. Yes, we all do need money to survive but when you decide to be a teacher, or a clinical educator, you cannot simply teach and humiliate the students. You know they are not as high level as you, if they are they would not be here. You need to facilitate their growth, and to pull them out of despair when they fail. As a teacher, you are the lights, the students see you as their lighthouse. The clinical setting is so poor we felt like crying when we see our lecturers walked into the department, like a savior. I'm not kidding, sometimes it is just that bad. You get scolded so much and you learnt nothing.

Students are all enthusiastic puppies, and as a teacher, you should teach us without crushing our spirit. This is all i can say. :/

Cry more...

I was watching this video from Ellen's channel on youtube about a young teenage girl fighting ovarian cancer. She used to sing this song as her 'fight song', the song literally named as Fight Song. Rachel Platten was there to sing with her. While they were singing tear brimmed my eyes. I realise, when you are that tired you do feel like crying especially when you sit alone resting your body and mind, not soul. Not yet. I'm working again, doing my clinical posting, and exams, and studies.. and my work is wearing me off, my back started aching... and i don't even get to spend the money i've earned... That makes me wanna cry more...